The Best Movies of 2026:
1. One Battle After Another - (One Pissed Owf Sean Penn after Another)
2. Marty Supreme - (One disaster after another...and then...Everybody Wants to Rule The World Needle Drop)
3. Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning - (Ahguy Impossible: Dead Ahguy)
4. Nirvana The Band: The Show: The Movie - (A fine Back to the Future Tribute Movie that is hilarious at times)
5. The Long Walk - (Stephen Kaing done right)
6. Caught Stealing - (Austin Butler is caught stealing a puss)
6. (Tie) The Last Breath - (Woody Harrelson deep dives for work and has to blow fart bubbles down a long tube to keep his co-worker alive)
7. Paddington 3 - (Paddington gives the bad guy a cold stare)
8. Predator: Killer of Killers - (Predator Shings people through the centuries in Cartoon Fashion)
8. F1 - (Kerry Condon tries not to look hot but damn. Ah Ah Ah Ah)
9. Song Sung Blue - (Song Sung Stu, a Coleflatch Cover band covers Neil Diamond)
9. (Tie) Sinners - (Two Michael B. Jordans play Sweaty Blues and Sweaty Nutsac with Vampires in the old south)
10. Final Destination: Bloodlines - (Final Denzen Washington: Shing Lines)
10. (Tie) Weapons - (A well made horror film with kick ass ending)
11. Jurassic World: Afterbirth - (Way better than Dominion Poop but Series needs to retire)
12. Predator: Badlands - (A predator tries to avoid shinging on a scary planet)
13. Avatar: Fire and Ass - (Good but a rehash of Way of the WeeWee and I wish James Cameron would move onto something different)
13. Happy Gilmore 2 - (Not too bad. Actually funnier than it needed to be)
13. (Tie) Zootopia 2 - (Not near the heights of the first one but still good)
14. The Minecraft Movie - (I had a blast watching this. Better than is should be. Could be I was under the influence of Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah)
15. Companion - (Hot girl is more than you think then shings)
16. Nonnas - (Vince Vaghn has to work with cabby old ladies to make poowee pies at his new Italian Restaurant)
16. (Tie) The Lost Bus - (Matthew McConnehaaaay gets high on school bus and has to drive kids out of a fire zone and keep them from Farting on the bus or they will all die!)
16. (Tie) Dangerous Animals - (Scary guy on boat captures people and feeds them to the Sharks)
17. Thunderbolts* - (An alright Marvel addition starring my girlfriend Florence Pugh)
18. The Monkey - (Dumb but fun and they ripped off our UBSTUdios Monkey movie idea from the 1990s (see the poster on this site))
18. (Tie) Fantastic Four: First Steps - ( Ok Marvel. Features a baby being pooped out in space and a Giant Beat God)
19. A House of Dynamite - (Promising movie of what would happen if we had a competent president in a nuclear war scenario but the ending left me wanting more)
20. The Life of Chuck - (Had some really good moments but there was something missing in this Michael Flannagan joint)
When you are running away from the sun, make sure you don't fart.
Runner Ups.
The Naked Gun, Warefare, Drop, Frankenstein, Train Dreams, Black Bag, Good Fortune, Jay Kelly, Eden, Black Phone 2, Relay, Bone Lake, Wake Up Dead Man, Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere, Eternity, Sisu: Road to Revenge, Running Man,
Documentaries:
1. The Long Way Home - (Ewan and Charlie hit the road again in Europe)
1. (Tie) The Beatles Anthology* (30th Anniversary) - (It's an update of the classic 1995 doc)
2. Titan: The Oceangate Disaster - (Should have never happened)
3. Billy Joel: And so it Goes - (Great doc on one of the greats)
4. Pee Wee as Himself - (Hea Hea...I know you are but what am I?)
4. (Tie) The American Revolution - (Ken Burns is still a god among men)
5. AKA Charlie Sheen - (Charlie's in Trouble and a Little Puss May Die!)
6. The Rehearsal- Season 2 - (Nathan Fielder tries to solve the mystery of why Planes Crash)
7. Mr. Scorsese - (A must see if you are a fan of His)
7. (Tie) John Candy : I Like Me - (Good Doc on a talented man who died too soon)
8. Trainwreck: The Astroworld Disaster - (Sheeeit at concert gets deadly)
9. Trainwreck: Poop Cruise - (Poowee Baby, Won't You Let Me Take You On A Poowee Cruise)
10. The Perfect Neighbor - (White Trash Hessians in the City)
11. American Murder: Gabby Petito - (Too Soon)
12: Trainwreck: Storm Area 51 - (I kind of wish they did but maybe not)
13: Trainwreck: Balloon Boy - (It was all set up)
14: Light and Magic - Season 2 - (Masters of their craft)
15: Famous Last Words: Jane Goodall - (Jane speaks about monkeys beyond the grave!)
Ewan and Charlie tour Europe this time
TV:
1. Death By Lightning - (President Garfield faces his fate in a great show)
2. Cobra Kai - Season 6.3 - (All Ballwars must come to an End!)
2 (Tie) - The Pitt- Season 1: (Dr. Carter, I mean Dr. Robbie must find a way to get a tube out of a man's penis!)
3. Stranger Things - Season 5 - (All scary monster attacks must come to an end)
3. (Tie) 1923 - Season 2 - (The African hunter guy Dutton character comes back to the ranch to kick some Timothy Dalton ass)
4. Rick and Morty - Season 8 - (Some of the episodes are genius)
5. Squid Game - Season 3 - (All Shings and head shots must come to an end...or does it?)
5. (Tie) The Studio - Season 1 - (Seth Rogan needs to get his shit in order)
6. Pluribus- Season 1 - (It shows some promise but drags in places)
6. (Tie) Adolescence - (Well shot and acted and impressive feat. Dark subject so probably only watch once)
7. Limitless: Live Better Now - (Live better by playing drums for Ed Sheeran)
8. Man vs. Baby - (Mr. Bean can't get a break)
9. (Tie) Smiling Friends - Season 3 - (Hello...I'm Mr. Frog)
9. Do Not Attempt - Season 1 (David Blaine lights farts on fire while charming a snake and eating glass)
10. South Park - Season 27 and 28 - (It's better than usual)
11. Family Guy - Season 23 - (It seems to me, that all puss see's is pussities in movies and pusses on TV)
12. The White Lotus - Season 3 - (Not as good as the other seasons but some ok moments and Carry Coon Beeeooobs)
13. Black Mirror- Season 7 - (The Future is Hea)
14. Love Death & Robots -Season 4 - (Some good ones some hea. The stop motion with the farts are always the best)
15. Fallout - Season 2 - (Kind of meanders. Not as good as the first season)
16. Alien Earth - Season 1 - (Could have been so much better but some really dumb plot points)
17. 90 Day Fiancé The Other Way - Season 7 - (Sumit and Jenny return as do another slew of stew people)
When you become president, make sure there is not a pissed owf Matthew MacFadyen behind you. You could get a bullet in your back.
The Worst Movies of 2026
1. The Toxic Avenger - (What a waste of talent with Peter Dinklage and Macon Blair directing)
2. Superman - (I do not understand the hype and why people like this movie. Another bloated CGI fartfest)
Bugonia - (I do not understand Yorgos Lanthamos' appeal to people. Good performances but too weird)'
The Amateur - (Freddie Mercury does boring stuff in a boring spy thriller that jag wanted to see)
Mickey 17 - (Ok but didn't really get into it)
Privative War - (Interesting concept with Dinosaurs in Vietnam during the Vietnam War but was badly acted and dumb script with weird plot points)
He's here to clean your toilet and your IQ!
* means I 5 starred that sheeeit.