The Best of 1994
1. The Shawshank Redemption* - (The Shankshaw Exemption)
1. (Tie) True Lies* - (Batteries Asisss....Get another one you Moron)
2. Dumb and Dumber* - (Just when I think you couldn't be any more dumber, you do something like this...And Totally Redeem yourself)
2. (Tie) Forrest Gump* - (So you just RAAAAAN)
3. The River Wild* - (It all started when David Strathairn was eating at the Dairy Queen in Thermopolis Wyoming and Kevin Bacon walked in...)
4. The Lion King* - (The Lion Kaing of Kaings)
5. The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult* - (Aaaa eeeee....wahooooo)
6. Speed - (I'm smarter than you. I'm so much smarter than your....ueeaaahhh....shing.....Well I'm Taller)
7. Ace Ventura - Pet Detective - (Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle)
7. The Mask - (Shhhmoken)
8. Iron Will - (Iron Will...why are you running in slow motion at the finish line with your feet flying up in the air?)
9. Pulp Fiction - (Royall with Cheese)
10. City Slickers 2 -(The Return of Mitchy the Kid and the Legend of Curly's short and curlies)
11. D2: The Mighty Ducks - (Quack…Quack…Fart)
12. Reality Bites - (Reality Blows)
The End of Art Malik as we know it.
Best TV:
1. Peter Gabriel-Secret World*
2. E.R. - Season 1
3. American Experience - FDR
The Worst of 1994
1. Star Trek: Generations - (Star Trek-The Quest for Spock's Balls)
2. The Crow - (The Gothic Bore. Remember Goth? yea glad that phase is dead)
3. Ed Wood - (A shitty movie about a shitty director)
4. Wyatt Earp - (Can't compete with Tombstone)
5. In the Army Now - (Designated spot for "Worst Pauly Shore Movie of the Year" award)
6. The Client - (Tommy Lee Jones investigates a Stuboy who beats Mantha's for a living and can't defend him in court even though it's his civic duty)
7. Beverly Hills Cop III - (Eddie Murphy goes to Six Flags-Magic Mountain to catch some roller coaster tycoon riding thieves)