First things first, lets get some stuff out of the way. Jurassic World Fallen Kaingdum was bad. Jurassic World Dominion should've never been made and was one of the worst films I've ever seen.
Because Dominion sucked so bad, and the franchise won't die, along comes Jurassic World: Rebirth. But does it suck? Short answer, no.
Short plot (spoilers) synopsis:
At the beginning of the film, a guy that looks like a younger Bruce Campbell (Rupert Friend) recruits Scarlett Johanssen/Jost at a spectical in New York City where people are pissed owf because some big dinosaurs escaped. She in turn, puts together a team along with a fuzzy museum guy (Johnathon Bailey), who is facing hard times because people are sick and tired of dinosaurs. Well, a couple of Michael Chrichton Middle School buses later, Johanssen recurits a dude you've seen before Mahershala Ali - think Green Book, and a couple of other stus that don't do much. Anyway, after some long dialogue and character development, the film pulls a King Kong - traveling to the island. Except unlike S K U L L I S L A ND, there is a cool sequence here that happens, introducing us to the other characters that join the movie.They are a Temu Pedro Pascal, a stoner, his girlfriend, and a little girl who keeps farting and causing hungry dinosaurs to come.
Johannsen rescues the family and they all make it to the island. This sequence was pretty neat. There is some long walking shots, followed by scary scenes where Melanies jump and some neat dinos. The usual stuff. Anyway, they make it to Site B, er, C, or wherever this is, after collecting flatulence from three dinos. They think they're going to be rescued. They remember... clever girl... kkkk aahhh!I hope someone brought Gas-X. Any sound you make in this film means you'll get chopped in half. Don't fart underwater either, there are scary monsters under there.
So yes, Jurassic Fart Rebirth is better than Dominion and Fallen Kaingdum, by a long shot. Yeah, it's got mixed reviews, but it certainly kept my attention. I do feel like the first third of the film dragged a bit, and then there are moments where it goes, and stops, and goes, and stops.Shuuuuuuuu, hungry hungry dinos
Not going to lie, there is a tender moment in the middle that made me remember why we love this franchise, even though it had two shitty movies come before it. I went hea, and almost shed a tear.
Parts of this film felt like I was playing Unsharted, and was Nathan Drake doing impossible stunts on waterfalls and hillsides. Which was cool, since the Unsharted movie sucked too.You know, I know that guy just got eaten, and other people are going to get eaten, and we won't be sad about it because there's no time for it, but now would be the perfect time for....oaaaateess. Grant's like me, he's a digger... que lino eres!
There are some surprises, some cool sequences, A LOT of homages to the original two films (JP1 and JP2), and enough heft (too much) to keep this movie afloat. There is a lot of floating in this movie. A lot of kkkk ahhhh too. It's dumb popcorn fun. It would've worked better for me if the first act wasn't fatty. JP1 cut to the point, something Oldballs Spielberg seems to have forgotten how to do. That, or Gareth Edwards wants to make this his Rogue One of the JP franchise. I also see elements of Godzilla in there too. Let them fight. I did get a kick out of some of the new dinos, but I also was kind of disappointed there weren't as many raptors and ONE FRIGGIN Dilophosaurus. I'm guesssing they wanted to limit the Raptors because that has been played out the last five films, so it's probably a good thing they didn't include much of them (not a spoiler).
Another beef I had with this film is that I didn't connect with the characters that much. Whereas in JP1, you knew the characters names, because they say them over and over. In this film, I guess I didn't catch that. I did catch a continuity error.
3.8 stars out of 5.