*=5 Stars
Best of 1982
1. E.T.* - (P.E.T.- Perverted Extra Terrestrial)
2. Gandhi* - (Ooo Mum Sheba)
3. Poltergeist* - (Their Heeeeeeere....Heeaaaaa..scchhuuuuuuuuu...aaaaaahhh)
4. Rocky III - (Rocky vs Mr. T)
5. Tootsie - (Dustin Hoffman fools them all as a lady, even his big nose fools them)
6. Fast Times at Ridgemont High - (Fast Oates at Oatesmount High)
7. Annie - (Tomorrow is only a fart away)

Scene later bastardized in the updated version where Spielberg replaced these shotguns with walkie talkies. I will take my E.T. Straight and Unchanged thank you.
Best TV
1. Family Ties - (The Year the Keaton Family started it all)
Worst of 1982
1. Q. The Winged Serpent - (Q. The Cool Idea gone to Shit)
2. The World According to Garp - (The World According to Barf. Could be the first in a tradition of one bad Robin Williams movie a year.)
3. The Slumber Party Massacre- (The Bewb and Butt Party Flatchacre)