The Best (and Worst) Movies of 1999

[Kaing of Kaings]

I have a theory about movies, at least in my own little universe. It seems to me that years ending in 9 are are strong in their output and are somewhat monumental years for me in movies. Years where I discover classics that will stick with me forever. I can certainly say this about 1989, 2009 and especially 1999. I have 7 movies with 5 stars, American Beauty, American Pie, Fight Club, The Green Mile, Magnolia, October Sky and Toy Story 2. I only give 5 stars to movies that are classics or instant classics. I remember going to the theater twice to see Magnolia because I was blown away by it. The same with Fight Club. Those two movies shaped the year of 1999 for me and made me a fan of Paul Thomas Anderson and David Fincher. The year also had a shocking amount of 1 star movies I saw. I must of been going to a lot of movies when I was in Chadron State College and at home in Casper/Green River. It was a big year for UBSTUdios as well. We moved our studios from Casper, Wyoming down to Green River, Wyoming. We had to live in a shitty Townhome before we got the house in Green River, I puked in the realtors SUV and Mantha learned how to fly down stairs, poor Mantha, R.I.P. Anyway, I digress. Let's count them down.

The Best Movies of 1999:

1. (Tie) Magnolia - (Respect the Shlong...and TAAME the $&#*)
1. (Tie) Fight Club - (The first rule of fight club is...fart on the pate.)
2. American Pie - (Love this movie)
3. American Beauty - (Smoke a doobie dude)
4. (Tie) The Green Mile - (San Rockwell wants to play Willis with Tom Hanks)
4. (Tie) October Sky - (The Rocket Boys launch rockets and DX in their spare time kind of like the UBSTU Brothers)
5. Toy Story 2 - (How can you not have a Pixar movie on this list)
6. Go - (Don't let it Go Away)
7. Election - (Didn't like it at first. Now I really like it)
8. The Matrix - (Whooa...I know doggy style. Show me)
9. Office Space - (Yea, you are going to have to come in Saturday...mmmyeaa)
10. (Tie) Varsity Blues - (Fungal blasts in Texas take on the coach)
10. (Tie) SLC-Punk - (Because it's SLC and they buy real beer in Evanston, WY)
11. Pirates of Silicon Valley - (Bill Gates vs Steve Jobs in the butt pirate competition of the century!)
11. (Tie) A Christmas Carol - (Patrick Stewart had dinner with his nephew Fred played by Cro Magnon)
12. Trans- Siberian Orchestra: The Ghosts of Christmas Eve - (Trans-Siberian Mantha Beating Orchestra: The Ghosts of Mantha Beats Past)


"It's not going to stop till you wise up"


"I am Tyler Durden's sweaty sac."

TV:
1. South Park - Season 3 (Show is heading toward it's peak)
2. Family Guy - Season 1 (Didn't start watching till 10 years after it started but some of the old stuff is hilarious)
3. ER - Season 6

Worst Movies of 1999:
1. The Limey - (I remember renting it with my dad and we couldn't make it all the way through. It was that bad)
2. Bicentennial Man - (The beginning of the Robin Williams 24 Hour Hair Cut Trilogy of terrible movies)
3. Wild Wild West - (Wee Wee West)
4. Hide and Seek - (Hide this Movie)
5. Big Daddy - (Adam Sandler suddenly wasn't that funny)
6. Mystery Alaska - (Sweaty nutsac on ice in Alaska)
7. Stuart Little - (Little Stu)
8. Galaxy Quest - (Don't remember why I don't like this. Just don't)
9. The Haunting - (Owen Wilson gets shinged by a poorly CGI'ed Ghost)
10. (Tie) Wing Commander - (Freddy Fartz Jr and Matthew Lilard's Blond wig fly around the galaxy in 1999 video game quality CGI space ships saving the galaxy from Space Hessians)
10. (Tie) She's All That - (She's All Fat, Freddy Fartz* Jr and Matthew Lilard's buzz cut call girls at a house party Fat for 2 hours)

Note* Yea, Freddy Fartz Jr. and Matthew Lilard where in everything in 1999.