Spider Man 3 - (Spider Balls 3)

[Kaing of Kaings]

Spiderballs is back and his sac is bigger than it ever was. The third, and hopefully, probably not likely the last installment of the good but not great super hero series is out. So what did I think.

Spiderballs follows our usual hero, our friendly, slightly hea, neighborhood Spider man as he battles, the Sandman, Venom, Harry Osborn (The Gay Goblin Junior) and himself. He is at the risk of losing Mary Jane as well so the stakes are higher. I wont give too much away here but lets just say, it doesn't look good for Spidey or his descending sac.

Spiderman three is a story where there is so much thrown together that it seems like Sam Raimi could of made two movies. There is a definite pacing problem here where it goes from action to slow scenes. Some of the action scenes are pretty neat but I felt in the end that this was a typical dorky spider man movie. Look for the dorky dancing scene where Tobey Maguire struts his stuff. This scene is pretty funny. Also look for the scene where Spidey shits his pants when he rides on Harry's souped up flying snowboard.

The acting here was on par for a spider man movie. Thomas Haden Church seemed a little stiff as the Sandman and Harry Osborn (James Franco) is always stiff, even when he is making an omelet. The best villan is Venom who is played by Topher Grace who has a short but effective part.

Overall, the movie is entertaining but it seems like Raimi kind of went balls to the wall on this film. I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Not the best in an "OK" series.



It was then that Spider-Man noticed a rip in his pants and the skid marks which he was notorious for.



It was then that Gwen Stacy realized that Spider Man was actually a pervert in disguise as a mysterious hand touched where it shouldn't have.

[TheStuboy]

Spidey is back in this third and hopefully final installment to the Spiderballz Series, and this time around, the grandeur of the series is exploited all to hell and back, and what a ride it was... for the most part.

SPOILERS BE AHEAD!

Tobey is back with his ko, but bad acting sidekick Kirsten Uncest and the two are enjoying some non ball related activities when all the sudden a massive turtle comes down from space and some how ends up directly on Tobey, changing him from a good spiderball to a bad spider ball. His behavior gets crazy as do the bad guys, headed by the sand man (Thomas Hea Church) who looks like an extreme beatforce, and, I'm not exactly sure was made for this part.

Then you have Peters friend whose name escapes me (Harry Balzac), but he is still hell bent on killing peter for killing his father. Willem Defoe returns for a breif second, as he did in the second film, but his advice is still the same, avenge meeee!! So Peter's gay friend becomes the New Goblin, and terrorizes spider ballz for a little bit, until the two friends work out there differences and a flashback shows the Goblin that indeed, his father did shing himself years ago.
Enter Wusstopher Grace. A hip photographer, looking to catch the gay side of Spiderballs, and remove peter from his job, Topher also is the ko who falls out of the window's GF. After a few hours of boring love sappy stuff, with Spidey DXing on his scanner, which is too old to pick up NYC frequencies (error), Spidey ditches the gay suit and it falls on Topher, creating a new spiderman known as something venom.

Thus starts a massive turtle battle pitting everyone against spiderballz. Can he survive? *Obviously he does*

-END BE SPOILERS-

Spiderman 3 is greatfully the last in the series. It was entertaining but was too much for me to handle all at once, like going turtle and pee at the same time. The two hours and change of this movie seem so damn crammed, I wanted to beat a Milo for doing something bad, like eating a q tip.

The series is over from here on out, this is the last film I'm sure. There may be direct to video films after this that don't star Tobey, but this should be it for spiderman. How much else could happen after all the shiz that went down in this film?

Spiderballz 3 has its slow points, but is generally more entertaining than the second film.

I give it 3.3 stars out of 4.

Hea.




Lets all hope it doesn't get any gayer than this.



You knew this was coming Pete, I've only had this grudge against you for the past year or so, whenever the second film came out. James Franco Flatches his way to Spiderballz side.


WussTopher Grace in a stuper, before becoming a kang bad guy.