Slither - (Shitznitzer)

[Kaing of Kaings]

Every once in a while, the people of my old home state Wyoming act strange. They stare at you all the time and the music goes out in the restaurant when you walk in. People say stu things like, we don't take any of your kind here or would you like to read the book of Mormon with me. There eyes are glazed over, and it's almost as if they are under the spell of an alien invasion, or possibly the republicans in D.C. Either way, the movie Slither is about people from Wyoming....actually its about a small town that come under siege from a slug from space that turns people into Zombies. This explains part of the reason people from Wyoming act the way they do.

While the movie doesn't take place in Wyoming, it stars a man that Stuboy may be familiar with. He is, none other than Michael Rooker (Hal Tucker from Cliffhanger) who is having a real bad time with these slugs. He also has a hot wife played by Elizabeth Banks who must save her husband from the alien plague. The movie also stars a man named Nathan Fillion who you may remember from Saving Private Ryan as the wrong Private James Ryan from Minnesota.

The story revolves around Rooker's charactor Grant Grant who is under the spell of the slug and attempts to consume the whole town. Meanwhile, duffus Fillion and hottie Elizabeth banks go after Rooker to stop the spread of the slugs. I must say, whenever the slugs are on the screen, the movie gets interesting. There is a scene (from the previews) where a KO in a bathtub almost gets slugged and we see a short nipple sighting. There are some funny scenes where the Zombies walk and act real stu. However, the movie seems a little slow when the slugs or Zombies aren't on screen.

That’s not to say this movie is bad. It didn't help that the theater decided to turn the volume down and some stupid college boys started talking across the theater. I don't think that the projector was focused either, but that could be my eyes going bad. Anyway, the movie has its parts and it kind of reminds me of the 1980's version of the Blob only not as scary. The movie didn't seem that scary either but there were plenty of gross out scenes that would make someone cringe if they were susceptible to that. There were a couple of jumping areas too where you jump because you never see it coming.

Overall, I would say this movie is entertaining but not perfect. Hall Tucker...I mean Michael Rooker does a good job and Elizabeth Banks is just plain hot. I give this movie about 2.85 stars out of 4. It was more entertaining than the previous movies I have reviewed on the site, but it probably could of been better. Hea.



Girl: "Oh my God! What happened to Sylvester Stallone?"

Michael Rooker: " I don't know. He just came back for Jessie...I mean the bags and then he told John Lithgow that he was a real piece of shit. "

Girl: "Do you think John Lithgow cursed Sylvester Stallone so he would turn into a slug?"

Michael Rooker: "I don't know. Why don't you prod it and see what it does. It's the only illogical thing to do."

[TheStuboy]

I knew I recognized that other main character Nathan Fillon, I just couldn't remember where I had seen him last.

So yes, I saw Slugther today at the Century Kang theaters in Stu SLC. I was a minute late again but I only missed the beginning of a Sheeit Gangsta movie call Waste Deep (Wasta Time), whes it a? Duh Money, brin it mutha fu. Garbage, sheer stupidity and garbage. Once again, shit is being produced by Hollywood.

But enough about the previews, lets talk about Shingther.


Stu pretty much sums up the story of the movie, so I won't bare repeating it, except for the parts that he missed including the AHHHs and Uhhhs and Shings that are a part of this movie.

I wholeheartively agree that whenever the slugs are on the screen, the movie is actually very entertaining, but when they aren't things get kind of kang and the character developement, though there, is weak.

Slither isn't all about in your face horror, guts and explosions. No, it works much different than traditional movies of that genre. It isn't until late in the film that we see the consequences of what the slugs have done, namely the first of two big explosions in the film that you can see in the previews (something's wrong with me).

Michael Rooker, while a gifted actor, was certainly wrong for this part. Maybe just the fact that his head was shaved makes me think that, but I put more money on his character. He doesn't have the right stimuli, in this movie as he did in Cliffhanger, some guy kicking his ass and wanted to know if he likes socca. Wait, there is the super hot Elizabeth Banks to kick around, but don't think she gets naked, no she doesn't. Sorry. The only nudity in this film is a nipple as stu says, and its very short, maybe wasn't even supposed to happen. The R rating is there simply because of the word fuc*. If the language was toned down in this film, it could have squeaked by with a PG-13. But no worries, none of us care about language anyways.

The R is even a bit rough saying this film has strong violence and horror, because it fails to produce it. I needless to say wasn't scared either, and I had the whole theater to myself, really, I did. But, no, this film is not scary, no its not the most gorry horror/thriller I have seen (see FD series for more gore).

This film looks like and did have the studios heart and soul poured into it and it contains some aspects most horror films lack, including heavy CGI (slugs) and glamorizing of it. James Gunn is new to filmmaking and he shouldn't be disappointed with his first attempt, its not that bad.

While this movie isn't oscarworthy by all means, and really isn't anything above a C+, as bad as it is, its still a good movie. Despite, however, containing several sluggish (no pun) scenes and some segments of bad acting, it still earns 2.89 stars out of 4, because of the lack of nudity hee hee. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, at times it is funny too, but not that funny.



Eww, she turtled in the tub, you know what that means, spanking for you!


Rooker: Please let me in, I honestly just forgot my keys, I wasn't going to hurt you any, okay, maybe just oates, but thats it!