Harry Bottom and the Goblet of Flatch

[TheStuboy]

Its the fourth year at Haagendaas and the boys and girls are a year older and hornier than ever. Including, Mr. Potter. Well it doesn't help that you have a bunch of kos shoved in your face for some annual Tri-Flatch event where only the toughest of wizards dare compete. And on top of that your school is hosting a huge ass ball with gay dancing and stu guitar interludes. Well this is pretty much the life of Mr. Potter for the first half of the movie, that is until he discovers the goblet of flatch, which contains the names of the three, well, yeah three stus that get chosen to die in a series of events.

From high flying sequences with dragons and the funniest thing I have seen, an actual instance when someone, Harry to be exact, uses fart power to escape the evil dragon. Ralph Finnes joins the cast as the evil nose butt guy who threatens to kill Harry if he won't let him torture a mantha with a magical spell. Harry Bottom has it all, in 2 hours and 48 LONG minutes.

I didn't get a chance to see the Prisoner of Alcatraz, but this movie illudes to it enough that I pretty much know what happens. I wasn't expecting much from this film, although I am now anxious to read the books because of it. As you may have heard, this film is dark. Its so dark, I'm really surprised it got a PG-13. Some of the scenes are fringe R, and this is supposed to be a kids movie! But given that I don't give a damn about ratings, I wasn't really bothered by it.

The acting seems to have matured in this movie, skill wise. All cast do a fine job, except for the old lady. Snape, played by Alan Ruck whom you remember as the "Mr. Potter" from the first one, and Hans Gruber in Diehard, has a relatively short part, but he is as ruthless and uncaring as always, and yes, he says "Mr. Potter" in this one too.

Again, I haven't read the books, so forgive me for inconsistancies in the story, but I still enjoyed this movie, I recommend that Van Stuber should go see it and bring his woman with him.


2.9 out of 4 for a hilarious scene where Harry uses fart power and his ass is of fire!

[leeroy_t]

Ell, speaking of flatch i was just in the grocery store and some old dude bent down next to me and let a huge flatch go then he flatched about 4 more times as I quickly exited the aisle. needless to say i was lucky to escape with my life, i hope that guy was wearing depends cause i think he sharted.

[Kaing of Kaings]

Ell, I just rented Harry Bottom Last night and I generally agree with Stuboy. This is a typical Harry Potter movie where there are tons of characters and half the time I don't know what's going on. Maybe I’m just stu because I didn't read the books or don't know the complexities of Harry’s inner mind and his descending nut sac, but I guess I’m not a Harry Potter fan.

That being said, this is the best out of the series I have seen and if I would of understood what was going on in the last three installments, maybe this movie would of been better. That’s not to say this is a bad movie. There are plenty of close calls for Harry and a dorky ball scene that ends in a steamy sex scene with Harry and that Emma Watson chick...actually that’s not true. Harry is like me in my early teen years, too shy to talk to girls and too stu to know how to act around them. Yea I wanted girls back then but like I said, I was just a wee Stuboy like everybody else. I wasn't the popular athletic kid (even though I played socca...granny). My mind was in the mysterious realm of radio, mega message, dx, kitcat nation, and other far off places.

Anyway, Harry is a lot like I was when I was Harry's age in this movie. Harry also experiences an erotic diving scene where some hot chick at the Tri-Wizard contest dives in the water and her swim suit gets taken off by some horny octopuses. Harry is basically going through puberty.

I agree some small children may have been scared by this movie, but if I was 14 and seeing this movie, I would probably not have been. I do like the dark turn the series has taken and I thought a major character was supposed to die off but maybe that’s the next movie. Anyway, I give this movie 2.9 stars out of 4 as well for the scene where Harry flys on fart power and the descending ball sac theory.