Generic Bond
Yes, he is not suave, nor sophisticated. He isn't
even Bond. But he is Generic Bond (Van Stuber) and yes that is his name. Always
cheaper than the real thing, Agent 1-800-COLLECT is on a mission for his Mother
country, the American Empire along with his partner, Agent 1-800-INFO (Justin
Stuboy). While investigating a toxic Sewer Plant, Something goes wrong when a
bunch of barrels are knocked off of these rafters by the evil Ethiopian Ramsais
Stu De Vinci (Leeroy Von Hess). Suddenly Agent 1-800-INFO dissapears in the
toxic barrels and Generic Bond is fired upon. So Generic escapes not knowing
what happend to INFO. Along the way back to Butte Montanna, home of the BIA BEAT
INFORMATION AGENCY. Generic meets a foxy lady named Virginia Sinclair (KO
Sinclair). Generic, with his usual boyish charm, seduces Miss Sinclair and finds
out that she is a KNOCK OUT. Well as the story progresses, Generic discovers
that Agent 1-800-INFO is actually a bad guy and partners with Ramsais Stu De
Vinci. Both evil guys are bent on making a sleeping gas that will make the world
fall assleep while they rob all the banks over the internet and launch nukes at
Russia just for the fun of it. Generic Bond stumbles on their plot and Virginia
Sinclair is Kidnapped by De Vinci and held ransom for 2 dollars. Mean while
1-800-INFO sends Denise Richardson (Laurie Sinclair) to seduce Generic and keep
him busy while INFO robs banks. Now it's up to Generic to save the world once
again from the Hessian forces of Evil. Will he be able to do it in time before
Butte Montanna gets destroyed. I just don't know. Rated PG-13 for Language, some
PTing, and breif cat nudity. Copywrite 2001 Dorky Head Productions.
Short Reviews