SUNDANCE 2008 FLATCH TAKES PLACE

SUNDANCE 2008 (FLATCH TAKES PLACE) - Click on any picture to see the full size.

A DAY BY DAY REVIEW OF UBSTUDIOS CORRESPONDENT STUBOY.

DAYS FOUR AND FIVE

Wednesday and Thursday January 23, and 24...

Wednesday wasn't eventful, much like Tuesday, except the fact that I went to a midnight showing at the Holiday Cinema IV in Park City and, well keep reading. Today's movie which required waitlisting yet again, was Morgan Spurlock's (Super Size Me, 30 Days), latest foray into documentary film making "Where In The World is Osama Bin Laden".

8:00PM Wednesday. I drove to Park City four hours early for no particular reason, but mainly so I could see if I had to wait in line a long long time.

Along the way, since I had extra time, I stopped at my record breaking DX site near Parley's Summit and took the picture to the left. Once again, as with the past two pages in this Sundance review, you can click on the image to see the uber definition version.

I had no idea that Morgan Spurlock had a new film at the fest until stu told me about it. I looked it up and sure enough, there it was. I skimmed over the description and figured it looked like a good film. This was my mission, to see this film.

I arrived in Park City around 8:15 and immediately began looking for the theater, which I've never been to before, but obviously passed every time I've been in town. After finding a parking spot near the Albertsons, I made the long walk to the theater and was greeted by the same tents that were over by the Eccles theater on Saturday. I went up to the doors of the theater and asked the dude standing there if they were letting people in for the movie yet. As I was asking him the question, a dumbass with a truck sped right through the drive and put up a massive plume of smoke. The worker guy mumbled something under his breath in the order of "the world is too small for people like that." I laughed and he quickly told me that his opinions are not those of Sundance. Um, okay. Just say whats on your mind man, I would have called the driver an asshole if I was a worker there. Then again, since we all have to be PC these days. Sheesh.

Anyway, he sent me across the way to the tent. I could see a line forming inside and feared the worst, but it was still four hours till show time, something wasn't right. I went in and found they were waiting for the documentary that played before Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden... Slingshot Hip-hop. I was then greeted by an extremely friendly (this is the second girl who has been extremely nice) worker for Sundance with her pass and all. I told her that I was extremely early, but was wondering about when the waitlist shiz would start. She told me to come back around 9:45. She then took my hand and said, you're my favorite stuboy, here, let me walk you to the nearby Starbucks, where they have a fireplace. She then commented on my lack of clothing and told me I had a nice shlong. No, most of what I just said didn't happen, but you understand how friendly she was.

9:00 PM Starbucks in the Albertsons - Sam Elliot - and the unending saga of bad management (and bad turtle).

I did as I was told by the extremely nice worker lady (who liked my shlong) and went inside Albertsons to wait. I find the fireplace she is talking about and call stu to tell him where I am. Sitting no more than 3 feet from me was a guy that looked 80% like Sam Elliot. I was actually scared sitting near him because for a few moments I actually thought he was the real deal. That is until he spoke. This look-alike guy had a "hea" type voice and not the scary Sam Elliot butt jumping in the window type of voice. I was disappointed. Wah told me I should have asked him for his autograph, but I figured out it wasn't him. I waited for another half an hour or so after using their horribly dirty bathrooms, and made my way back to the theater. I was once again greeted by the same worker lady and she told me that they were about to start handing out numbers for the wait list. After a little battle for the line position, and more management screw-ups, which caused people to become pissed, I was in line and waiting. While there, I chatted with the stus around me and was handed a number, 11. We were then told we had to wait outside for the next hour and 45 minutes until the film started. This pissed off the people in front of me yet again. This is one thing I've heard so much this year is the lack of communication between the workers is causing massive turtle for some people. Management needs to get their heads out of their asses basically. So we are sent outside and I am YET AGAIN greeted by the same lady. She wouldn't leave me alone, I swear to god. She apologized for the troubles we'd all just been through, and offered to take me to the back of the tent for oates. I declined though, since it was butt ass cold and I didn't want to literally freeze my butt off.

Anyway, it was back to the Starbucks, and back to the extremely over priced Albertsons waiting area. Sheesh.

11:30 - Back in the tent.

I returned back in the tent and was the first person in the wait list line, until about 10 minutes later, when the other stus got back in their positions. Once again, (I'm sorry), the lady would not leave me alone. She pleaded for oates, but I told her I liked Hall better. She told me that Hall was the gayer of the two, and I agreed. They started handing out tickets and long behold, my luck was good that evening. I was the last to get in. We were forced to sit in the front row.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN?

Morgan Spurlock, to me, is just like the everyman. He doesn't flaunt his fame, and like me, he gives other people credit where credit is due. He also doesn't treat his subjects as the end all be all. His previous documentary, Super Size Me, is on my top ten documentaries of all time, and his latest film, this one, sits right in front of it. Yeah you read right. I believe this documentary was better than his previous work. That doesn't mean I didn't like Super Size Me mind you. Anyway, before I get redundant because of being tired, I'll continue with the review.

SPOILERS: This documentary is essentially about Morgan getting fed up with the current state of things (something he is good at) and taking it upon himself and his film crew to do a mission, in this case, find the most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Laden. From the get-go, he questions why the U.S. Government, supposedly the most technically capable in the world, can not seem to find one man. This question lingers throughout the film, and is answered more than once, again something I liked. He travels to several countries in the middle east, including Icraq (yes I did that on purpose). He also voyages to Egypt, Israel, Palestine, Morocco, Afganistan, and finally Pakistan. Along the way, Morgan meets with people in every country, some of them higher up in the government, but most of them just common folk like you and I. He asks where they believe OBL is, and what their opinions of the current events are. The answers might surprise you, they may not, the point is, Morgan seems to be the only one asking them right now, and we really need to know.

END SPOILERS

Its unfortunate that a large chunk of the world hates the United States of America. When you have dumb asses running the country, guess what happens. I'm sure there are people that have always hated our country, but none so much as now. We all know whose to blame, and unfortunately, we all have to live with him for another year. Also unfortunately, is that if things go extremely bad for the Democrats, we're fucked for 4 or 8 more years. That means draft, that means folks like you and me will be fighting muslims half way around the world (particularly in Iran).

Morgan's documentary, while close to Fahrenheit 911 at times, does not take itself as serious as something Michael Moore would do. This is good however, since its not like we're getting information shoved down our throats. Again, I'm a Michael Moore fan too, but he and Morgan have different film styles. The final question we all must ask, is Why we can't be friends. There are a lot of good people in this world, and not every single muslim hates Americans (the people, not the govt).

4 stars out of 4, the best documentary I've seen this year.

Afterwards, long behold, the man himself was there for the Q&A. Thats right, Morgan Spurlock was standing no more than 10 feet from me (remember, I was in the front row). He looks like he does in his films, not different at all. Again, he reminds me of the every-man, someone whose obviously not attempting to be an uber celebrity, he's just got a voice, and a film he thinks we need to see, and I agree with him. Below are pictures of the man himself and I'm saving the best one for last. This is the first documented case of a Ubstudios employee meeting with a celeb. Don't forget though, I've seen so many celebs this past week.

Yes you're seeing it right. This picture (left) has not been photoshopped. I don't own photo shop and I probably wouldn't know how to do it this well but thats me with the man Morgan Spurlock. He was in the lobby and I shook his hand. Like all the other celebs (minus the damn papparazi (see previous page)) he was a very nice guy. Very geniuine. I told him that I liked Super Size Me, but I believed this film was better. God if only I wasn't such a dorky head, look at that dorky face. I was so freaking nervous, you would be too.

Anyway, in this small space left, I will discuss day 5 (Thursday) with you.

I saw the movie "August" at the Broadway cinemas in SLC. August stars Josh Hartnet (Fartnet) and a bunch of other people I don't recognize except Rip Torn and David Bowie. The movie is a take off on Wall Street, and is supposed to be a thriller but it's anything but. Josh Fartnet owns a business called Sharkfarts, and he sells things we never find out. His business is good, that is until the summer of 2001, and it's all GWB's fault. The tech market crashes, and nobody cares. Josh Fartnet tries to save his company so he goes and speaks with David Bowie and the movie ends with a gay scene in a strip joint, that's it. This movie is right up there with Supernova as one of the worst movies I have seen in my entire life. It made absolutely no sense, and on top of that, had no point in existing in the first place. I kept thinking throughout the movie "What's the point?" It turns out, there is no point. The movie is so disjointed, and so pointless, it makes me want to beat a Buki! How can anyone make this shit? Honestly? Did they not even read the story before filming? Sure, people who watch the stock market and who work on Wall Street will like this movie, but to the rest of the world, not only will it not make any sense, it will leave you with the fact that you lost an hour and a half of your life you can't get back, that and you're out 15 bucks. Nuf said, .2 stars out of 4. Worst...film...ever. I didn't even take any pictures, it wasn't worth it.

And now, you can click the link to see my final day at Sundance 2008, Saturday January 26, 2008. Hopefully the animation spotlight will be far more entertaining then the POS August film. GOD!!!!!!!

GO TO DAY SIX (Final Day)>>>>>>>>>>>