The Best (and Worst) Movies of 2015

[Kaing of Kaings]

Well, it's my favorite time of the year again here at UBSTUdios.com. Yes it's the time when I finally get caught up on watching most of the movies from the previous year and document them here for all eternity so years later I can go back and say, hea, those movies were KAING. 2015 was a descent year for films. There were several strong westerns that came out (The Hateful Eight, Slow West, The Revenant) (and one stinker-Bone Tomahawk PU) including the only 5 star film, Unbranded which is an excellent documentary. Spy films were good too including Kingsman and Mission Impossible (although Spy sucked). Kurt Russell managed to make the movie at the top and the bottom of the list which is a feat considering he is one of my favorite underrated actors. This movie also pumped life into old franchises that needed a jolt (Creed, Jurassic World, Mad Max-Fury Road, Starwars-Episode 7). Kids movies were also strong with The Good Dinosaur getting even more of an emotional impact out of my family and me than Inside Out which was another great one for Pixar. The Docs were strong as was TV this year. Lets break it down in traditional fashion, real names - (UBSTUdios Name).

The Best of 2015

1. The Hateful Eight - (Nobody pisses Owf Samuel L. Jackson for no Damn Reason)
2. Creed - (Jiggaback...do, do, doo, doo dooo.)
3. Jurassic World - (Dinosaurs Flatch on Earth Again)
4. The Good Dinosaur - (Yea I cried like a baby)
5. Mad Max, Fury Road - (Mad MiloMax Furry Chode)
6. Kingsman, Secret Service - (Kaingsman, Kaing of Kaings)
7. Inside Out - (Inside Oates)
8. Mission Impossible, Rogue Nation - (Tom Cruise defies Death for you)
9. Ex Machina - (Oscar Issac and Domnhall Gleeson get their Robotic Oates on)
10. Slow West - (Good little Western)
11. The Revenant - (Leonardo DiCaprio defies Death for you)
12. Star Wars Episode 7-The Force Awakens -(Star Wars Epic Chode 7-The Flatch Awakens)
13. The Martian - (Matt Damon says Matt Daaaamon on Mars a bunch of times)
14. Sicario- (Benicio Del Toro gives you scary look and you die)
14. (Tie) The Program - (Ben Foster plays Lance Armstrong, you watch)
15. Paddington - (CGI Bear farts in a Marmalade Jar)


Want to make a guess on who survives a Quentin Tarantino film?

Here are some honorable mentions: Beast of No Nation, Black Sea, Everest, Krampus, Love and Mercy, Me, Earl and the Dying Girl, Room, Spotlight, Straight out of Compton and The Walk, Backcountry

Now lets get on with the documentaries including the instant classic and only solid 5 star movie of 2015, Unbranded

1. Unbranded - (Ride a Horse, Save a Cowboy)
2. Meru - (Better than Everest (the movie))
3. Can't Stand Losing You - (A Tale of Andy Summers of the band, The Police)
4. Amy - (Amy Winehouse's Story)
5, Prophets Prey
6. Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine
7. Going Clear - (Quit Scientology people!)
8. Soaked in Bleach - (Kuuuurt Cobain)
9. Racing Extinction - (Depressing as it is)

Now onto TV. Good shows this year with some epic stuff going on in Game of Thrones and a new look into the world of Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad.

1. Parenthood - Season 6 (The great end of another great show)
1. Shameless - Season 5 (Starting to get good)
2. Game of Thrones - Season 5 (Shit is starting to get real)
3. Making a Murderer- Season 1(Did Steve Avery do it or was it someone else?)
4. Master of None - Season 1
5. The Knick - Season 2 (One of the most disturbing endings to a show)
5.(Tie) The Affair- Season 2 (Cro Magnon and his woman face insurmountable odds)
5. (Tie) Rick and Morty - Season 2
6. House of Cards - Season 3
7. Better Call Saul - Season 1(Hasn't reached greatness yet)
8. Family Guy - Season 14
8. South Park - Season 19 (PC Principal Rises, Garrison is turning into Trump)
9. The Great Greek Myths - Season 1 (Gods that like to Oates)
10. Gallipoli (Sad tale of a stupid WW1 battle)

And now with little fanfare and some stuness, the WORST movies of 2015 as rated by your UBSTU Critic Kaing of Kaings (Formally Know as Buthesda Cobblebottom or the Kaing Symbol).

1. Bone Tomahawk - (Don't understand how people liked this, bad acting, dumb plot points and one poor naked guy getting a real bad shinging by cannibals)
2. Spy - (Not that funny)
3. Z for Zachariah - (Margot Robbie is the last woman on earth and Chris Pine or Chiwetel Ejiofor don't get any oates? Makes for a boring movie.)
4. Trainwreck - (Sorry again, not that funny)
5. 50 Shades of Grey - (At least the Oates saves an otherwise Trainwreck of a movie)
6. People, Places and Things - (Jemaine Clement isn't that funny outside of Flight of the Conchords)
7. San Andreas - (The Rock lets everyone in California die so he can save his hot daughter trapped in San Francisco during the big one)
8. Spectre - (Maybe Daniel Craig is getting to old for this shit).


Well that's a wrap. See you next year when we look at 2016. Spoiler alert, some good kids films will make the top of the list.