The Best (and Worst) Movies of 1995

[Kaing of Kaings]

1995 was a big year for me. I left Jr. High (Technically it was my first year in high school but it was in JR High. Went to Kelly Walsh HS and the origin of UBSTU happened this year. The movies were OK but Tom Hanks had a good year in Apollo 13 and Toy Story. Crimson Tide featured Gene Hackman shouting one of our favorite lines in Crimson Tide, "Now I'm in charge so STFU". The sequel to Grumpy Old Men was a classic like the first. But one of my favorite, most memorable movie going experiences in the 1990s happened when my family and I went to see Braveheart in Rapid City, South Dakota on a rainy day. It was one of our family trips to the Black Hills and I remember staying in the Super 8 Hotel in Custer and driving to Rapid. Once the movie was over, I remember thinking I had never seen anything like this on screen before. The story was awesome even though many of the events actually didn't happen in real history, but William Wallace was the hero for the ages. The movie also featured the famous puffer song which inspired Stuboy's puffer song dream with a floating Mel Gibson head. After the movie, we went back to Custer and my brother and I played swords with sticks and took out a bunch of weeds. I cherish that memory. Coincidentally, Braveheart is my favorite movie of 1995. Let's see the list.
* = Five Stars
The Best Movies of 1995
1. Braveheart* - (The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots...Attack)
2. Apollo 13* - (Houston, We have a Problem. A cat walked onto the space ship when we took off and we have no cat box for it)
3. Toy Story - (You've got a friend in Lee)
3. (Tie) - Grumpier Old Men - (I've been to Hawaii. Which Island? KomonIwannaleiu)
4. Crimson Tide - (Remember when James Gandolfini spits on those soldiers?)
5. Goldeneye - (Best Brosnan Bond and Sean Bean (006) play Ballwars in Russia)
6. Jumanji - (A fun romp in the theater)
7. Mr. Holland's Opus - (Some may think this is a corny movie but being a band student, I connected to it)
8. Tommy Boy - (Where's the gym?)
9. Casino - (What happens in Vegas, stays in Scorsese's movie)
10. 12 Monkeys - (12 Monkey Spanks)


"The Butt attack scene in Braveheart"

Best TV
1. The Beatles Anthology - (Love the Beatles)
2. ER - Season 2
3. The Mr. Show - Season 1

The Worst of 2016
1. Congo - (In a air conditioned room in Houston, a woman watches on a screen showing the jungle 3000 miles away. What she see's is a mysterious butt, what she uncovers is a stu movie about a monkey spanking it in the Congo, where you are the endangered movie watcher.)
2. Ace Ventura - When Nature Calls - (Ok not a good movie)
3. Showgirls - (The girl from Saved By the Bell tries to act in an oates themed movie)
4. Four Rooms - (Four Disasters)
5. Judge Dread - (Jug Head)
6. Free Willy 2 - The Adventure Home - (Free my Willy 2 - The Adventure to Find Oates)
7. The Quick and the Dead - (The Slow and the Stu)
8. Dracula, Dead and Loving it - (Dracula can suck it)
9. Halloween 6: The Curse of Mike Meyers - (Halloween 6-The Sucking Sound of Mike Meyers)
10. Leaving Las Vegas - (Leaving this depressing movie)
11. Home For The Holidays - (Holly Hunter comes home to an annoying family. This movie is like Goonies only with adults talking over each other and being extremely annoying)