It turns out that this movie really did nothing for me and it was the biggest Spielberg disappointment since A.I. and The Terminal. Actually, A.I. had more connecting moments with the audience than this one did. I guess that's my biggest problem with this film. I walked out of the theater feeling like I neither liked this movie or hated it, I felt indifferent. It's the same feeling I got after Batman Begins and now I have decided I don't like that movie. That is usually not the way directors want you to feel after a movie.
It seems here like Spielberg just rushed this movie into production just to get it done and didn't really care about the story, script or making any emotional investment in the characters. The movie feels rushed and as a result disconnected from the whole series and the audience. Yes, there is CGI in this movie and it does cheapen the movie from the original ones that were shot on location.
Let's get to the characters. Harrison Ford is the title character but he strangely seems not in this picture. He isn't given much to do and yes he is old, which is recognized, but even his action sequences seem lame. Shia's character was probably the strongest character of the film but I felt that some of the dialog at times was really corny. Ray Winstone's Mac character seems worthless and there really is no point for him to be there except to explain what has happened to Indy since the Last Crusade. Even Marion Ravenwood's character is lame and doesn't really serve much of a purpose. Cate Blanchet's Russian character (Stu, Olga was nice enough to prepare this double shot of Vodka for you, Drink up Stu) wasn't all that exciting and no where close to the badness of the bad guys of the past movies. It's not like these guys are bad actors, they aren't. The script and story just doesn't give them much to do and doesn't really let connect with them.
I kind of blame George Lucas for the story. I think that the overlying theme of Aliens and Archeology is kind of neat but I think that the way it was developed makes it confusing. The kids sitting next to us didn't seem to be following anything even with a dumbed down story line. They weren't even interested. I know Spielberg wanted to use the least amount of CGI as possible and George Lucas would have preferred everything, including the actors, in CGI. I'm glad Spielberg won that battle, but I think it's time to not let GL monkey with the story any more.
The movie does have some moments that I some what enjoyed which included a mushroom cloud and driving a bike through a library, other than that, the rest of the action sequences seem uninspired. One of the best things about the original trilogy is that Indiana seems like he is in real trouble and on the edge all the time. While he gets into plenty of death defying moments in this film, I didn't really care what happened to him or the other characters. I know that sounds bad but thats how far this movie didn't connect with me.
Now that Spielberg and Lucas has got this out of their system, I hope they don't return to the series. I really do wish that they hadn't made this movie and that Spielberg made Lincoln instead. I think the days of Spielberg making movies like he did in the 80s are over. That's not to say that his 90s or 00s movies are bad, they are more oriented toward adults. George Lucas can do what he wants but please, for the loheve of God, stop remaking or adding on sequels to your old movies. Just as the Star Wars prequels kind of ruined the originals, the new Indy kind of ruined the old ones. The old ones still have their place in the halls of film greats, but the new one does not. Sorry Spielberg, hope you do better next time. You really are a genius of film, this was just not the film you should or could have made.
Because Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom started the PG-13 rating, this film deserves a new rating system from this UBSTUdios movie reviewer. I am adding an extra star to my reviews making every film I review from now on, 1 to 5 stars.
1 Star = Hated It, Worst Film Ever,
2 Stars = didn't really like it but not worst film out there.
3 Stars = Indifferent, Didn't Like it or Hate it
4 Stars = Liked it, Was entertaining and well worth seeing
5 Stars = Excellent, A film that could become a classic over time or an Instant Classic.
And now for the first rating of that new system. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Stall gets 3 out of 5 stars. I feel like almost giving this 2.5 stars out of 5 but I feel like a second viewing may have to take place to determine what the rating is. The more I think about this film, the more disappointed I am.
Blanchet: "Mr. Jones, Make the Radio Call. Do it....Now."
Jones: "Alright Mutt. Somewhere down there is the Frank Darabont script that Spielberg and I liked but George Lucas didn't."
Mutt: "Didn't George Lucas not like the lack of Ewoks or Chewbacas in the old script?"
Jones: "You heard that right Daddy-O. The Darabont script was too wordy for him and had too much emotional investment in the characters. He wanted a script with boring one liners and characters and action sequences that don't connect to the audience."
Mutt: "Wow, I would hate to be in that movie."
P.S. A review from Justin Stuboy should be up here soon. He was much more kinder to the movie than I.
