Escape from Metro Book Review

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CATS ARE SMARTER THAN U THINK

Postby TheStuboy » January 24th, 2005, 6:23 pm

Our cats (mantha, pooh and milo) may not fit this particular mold, but this link will go to show you that cats are smarter than they are given credit for.
Cats are not Stu!
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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Postby leeroy_t » January 24th, 2005, 11:11 pm

ya your cats just know how to eat (milo) hide (mantha) and kang (marmalade)

As for your story stu, I think a way it could be improved is to simplify it as much as possible, at least thats what I was told to do when writing my thesis. I think you may have too many characters, just my opinion.
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Your butt has got Bad Flatulence

Postby Kaing of Kaings » February 3rd, 2005, 9:22 pm

Ell, I just read Stuboy's Escape from Metro. Since I am Anderson Cooper, I have decided to not spend my hour long show (Anderson Cooper 360) talking to Jerry Fallwell, and instead have a pannel discussion with the Senate Democrats and Republicans about Stuboy's new book, Escape From Metro. We will start the show off where I stand on this rotating platform so everyone can see my nice ass, then we will discuss this critical piece of literature.

As far as my review, It was ok, and just getting interesting in the end when Santa gets caught by some red-necked FIB Illinos farmer. Before that, as leeroy states, Its a series of running from Metro who happen to have a Natiion Wide juristiction and eating, sleeping, and farting. I'm not sure how you can sell this book to adults or even teenagers, as Leeroy Turtlehead stated earlier.

Consider the movies, Cats and Dogs, and Homeword Bound and consider who those audiences are and how well those movies did. Now Homeword Bound was a good movie for its time and I remember enjoying Treat Williams acting when I was 13. Cats and Dogs on the other hand could of had so much more potential but the story was too family oriented.

Now lets consider Dr. Doolittle on Acid, or just rated R. Honesty, I cant see many adults going to see this unless it becomes some cult film phenomenon. Like Leeroy Turtlehead said, If you can do that and draw in a croud with a successful movie or book, you would be set.

When you have your animals talking, you need to make them a whole separate paragraph. For example:

Stuboy came home to the house after a nice game of sweaty nutsac to find that Mantha had shit on the downstairs carpet. Stuboy was infuriated.

"You stupid Cat." Stuboy angrily shouted. "This is the last time you have shat on the carpet. Now it is time to beat you like the read headed step-mantha you are. BEAT!"

Mantha calmly turned around towards Stuboy. With her butt in the air, she puffed and proceeded to speak.

"Reaow, It was Milo's fault. He didn't clean his dingleberries today."

"Ok, Mantha, I believe you. And so does this 10 pound Supper ARM, EAAAAHHHHHHH." replied Stuboy as he approached the scared Mantha. "Welcome my Mantha. Welcome to the Machine."

Stuboy grabbed the Mantha and proceeded to beat with the Super Arm. Mantha was later introduced to the Machine.

Thats the normal format for writting dialoge. The only other thing I can think of is we need a reason.to care for these characters. Give some background into the characters and while you kind of already done it, give them some distinct characteristis. We know Santa Farts and likes food and is stupid, but I cant tell the other characters from themselves. Stan seems to be the leader and Milo and Marmalade seem to be gay.

Anyway, I would recomend cleaning up your story, focusing on who your audience is, and adding some more to what you already have to make it more interesting and less monotinous. Other than that. BEAT.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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