Are We There Yet? (Are We Acting Yet?)

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Are We There Yet? (Are We Acting Yet?)

Postby TheStuboy » February 26th, 2005, 11:45 pm

Once in a while there comes a time when Hollywood produces a movie that must have cost bigillions to make and is certain to sweep the oscars this weekend with its wonderful casting, acting, and directing...This movie isn't that movie.

Apart from the fact that Ice Cube is in this film, nothing else can save it from certain disaster. (and not even He does that great of a job.)

Every movie I've seen in the Hippodrome in Julesburg, Colorado since I've been going there has been a major flop for the movie industry, this one is no different. Could it be that the studios only give them the crappy movies, I sure hope not.

Lets break this movie down into its structures by analyzing the acting, the filming, the bling bling (Story) and other such non existant elements.

First off, the acting. I've never seen such a more Oscar worthy performance on the part of Ice Cube and the rest of the cast, because it was far from Oscarworthy, in fact there wasn't really any performance in this movie worth anything at all. The acting is far from television acting even. Everyone in this movie has a deffinite moment of shitty acting, the worst I have seen this year. Still Supernova holds the worst acting award I gave it. The kids are the most annoying couple I have ever seen and most of all heard. Their screaming and screetchy annoying voices drove several people out of the theatres, myself included (to get some "Hot Tomales") I reluctantly went back into the theatre to view the rest of the show only to be disappointed by an even worse than before story.

Secondly, the filming (or lack thereof). I have nothing against black american actors mind you, but this movie feels like the movie Friday. As fast as you can say stereotype, we find Ice Cube decked out in a brand new Lincoln Navigator, wearing "bling bling" and listening to, you guessed it, rap (and the hamster song which I thought was kind of Hannahistic.) The lack of story really hurt the filming as much as anything, and I'll discuss that next. (Basically, this film should have never been made.)

If you've seen the previews for this movie, you know the whole story from start to finish. So Ice Cube falls for this girl after getting electrocuted by her car battery which was god awfully stupid. She has just divorced this stu and is on her way to a conference of some kind in Vancouver, BC. The only problem is, her kids (she has kids from the stu) want to go see her dad, but she wants them to go to Vancouver to see her (mysteriously not taking them on the plane which would have been the smart thing to do) so Ice Cube is assigned to go get these roudy kids whom act like 2 year olds, and drive them from Portland to Vancouver. As predictable as ever, and thanks to murphy's law, things don't work out between Ice and the kids, because he keeps calling them Cube and says sheeit and damn too much (stereotypical.) The kids destroy his Lincoln Navigator (which was the only redeemable part of the story) after Cube gets his ass whiped by a dear and then the car predictably explodes because cube put a still lit lighter under some plastic and voila!

The problem that keeps reoccuring through out the story is the predictability scale. This film ranks as the #1 most predictable story I have ever watched on celluloid. I came into this movie only seeing the preview once and expecting nothing and 2 seconds in, I knew the whole story. Damn you Hollywood, quit writing this worthless shit.

Aside from the time at the end mysteriously jumping 2 hours in 30 seconds, this film has no redeemable qualities left except for an exploding car and a few moments of stupidity that only someone who doesn't have any common sense will enjoy.

Read my lips, stay away from this pile of crap.

Message to Hollywood: Keep making this kind of shit if you want, people with an I.Q. of 60 will love it and keep feeding your bottomless pockets.

.5 stars out of 4 for an exploding Lincoln Navigator and a brief hamster song interlude.

Freddie Farz Jr. viewed this film in Julesburg Colorado on 2-26-05.
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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I cant believe you saw this movie

Postby Kaing of Kaings » February 27th, 2005, 11:46 am

I could of told you this movie would suck even without seeing it. Just look at the previews and anything that hollywood puts out with Ice Cube and kids in it. I knew this movie was going to suck and stayed away from it. Black culture is something I am not into (I don't have anything against blacks either). Its just it seems like their movies are rehashes of movies already made. Like this movie looks like a rehash of the Classic, Vacation. I will definately stay away from this movie cause I know it is stu before seeing it. BEAT>
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