Unstoppable - (Unbukabbe)

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Unstoppable - (Unbukabbe)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » November 15th, 2010, 9:57 pm

This weekend in Stinktown USA, after a long 2 day drive from Southern CA, I needed a relaxing weekend. What better way to relax than to see the latest Tony Scott movie staring Denzen Washington. This time, Tony has Denzen playing a train engineer in the movie Unstoppable!!!!.

As you can tell from the previews, a freight train the size of the fricken Willis (DFIYM) tower is now on the loose with no one at the helm. It's headed for Oprah's ass, and it will be a complete disaster if it gets there. Because of dumbasses, the train gets set loose with no brakes. Now its up to Denzen and the chiseled faced Chris Pine (who played Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek) to figure out a way to stop the train before all of Southern Pennsylvania is blown up and covered in steaming pooh. Sounds like a winner for a plot, right?

Tony Scott is slowly learning that Shaky Cam sucks and ruins movies. You can see he wants to do it here and there but then cuts to a steady shot. The action at first is tense. You feel the train coming at you and are always wondering if it is headed for your head or your ass. As the movie goes on, you can kind of see where it is going. At the end, I was thinking, that was it? I was actually expecting more anal explosions. I even had an alternative ending in mind that would of been funny...."The hero's save the day...the train is stopped...every one is happy...the stupid Hooters sisters are acting really dorky....and then....suddenly...Hans Gruber from Die Hard shows up and farts. Then, Chris Pine forgets to put the brakes on the train again and it takes off only to run over Robert Patrick who is a sitting duck...bammmm....puff....shakey cam....Denzen goes "Hea". It's over.

The movie is entertaining but not much more than that. Don't expect boobs or a gratuitous sex scene. Just expect dorky shots of Denzen and Pine and the dorky Hooters sisters. 3.5 out of 5.

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When Wesley Snipes checks out of the hotel to act in movies, he makes sure his head is the main feature on the poster. That and flatulence all over the place.

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Denzen: "All right there young man. We have a shitty job to do. We have blurry trains going up and down the tracks and no one knows what is going on."

Pine "Are you sure you're not like me? Are you sure?"
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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