Netflatch Review - Joyride 2: Deadly Terrible

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Netflatch Review - Joyride 2: Deadly Terrible

Postby TheStuboy » September 10th, 2010, 5:03 pm

Yes, this may not be a review of a movie currently in theaters but this forum allows such Netflatch reviews, so here goes one I just finished today.

The real name of the movie is Joyride 2: Dead Ahead

The original Joyride (2001) was and still is a great movie. The casting was good, Paul Walker and Steve Zahn look like brothers and Leeeelee Sobieski is nice to look at. Most of all, the story was interesting and not very predictable.

In 2008 a dump was taken on that film's good name and we were given the direct to DVD sequel. Most direct to DVD movies are that way for a reason, they are cheap and stupid. This film is both.

Spoilers, but don't mind reading them:

The film begins with Rusty Kaing givng a ride to a prostitute who shows him her boobs. This is one of three instances in the film where nudity was used to further the crap plot. She ends up being beheaded by Rusty Kaing because like his name, he is Kang and only likes hea guys. See later:
Then we're all the sudden with three friends, two hot girls and a hea guy who acts kang when he gets kissed by his girlfriend. This guy honestly acts like a pussy the rest of the film, he goes hea hea!. You'd think with two somewhat hot girls in the car, the guy would go all oates, and the lesbian like sisters would love it.

They pick up an emo kid who is also a pussy but likes to talk a lot. He met one of the girls on Myspace (a gay reference to current technology in the film).

The idiot emo kid suggests they save time by driving on a dirt road... They are heading to Vegas and the movie supposedly takes place in central Utah.

As predictable as dingleberries on Max's butt, the car breaks down and the four are forced to walk. They come upon a house that is abandoned but we already know whose house it is... Rusty Kaing's. They discover a mint condition vehicle and decide to steal it. One of the girls stupidly leaves her phone number on the door.

They stop at a truck stop full of hessian truckers and the emo kid goes all off on them calling them a variety of names. Rusty Kaing is hiding in the truck stop and hears them. He then soon calls the girl and the game of cat and mouse begins.

There are two more instances of nudity (one half and one not really), that follow, and a bunch of stupid one liners. Two people end up getting kidnapped, two end up dying.

Bad plot points and major continuity erros... and then...

Rusty Kaing is killed at the end of the film obviously, but like the first film, he may not be dead after all.

--END SPOILERS


The review:

Honestly, I knew what I was getting into when I saw this movie on Netflatch. Being a big fan of the first film, I wanted to see how they could some how manage a sequel. I am not a fan of the whole direct to DVD thing, especially if it is a sequel to a good film. Movies like this one ruin the first.

I'm going to break this film down into several parts because it is easier to do that way.

Acting:
As to be expected from no-names with a crap ass script, acting wasn't one of the priorities in this film. I must say though, the emo kid has more character than anyone else in the film, besides Rusty Kaing. Rusty's voice sounds close to the original, but just off enough that it isn't right. With all the explosions and special effects in the film, they could have at least afforded Tony Todd to do the voice like the first film.

Characters are stiff and lines are forced. Once things get going though it settles down somewhat, but when both guys become heas, I lost all interest. It is the girls that have the balls in this film.

Story:
Another weak point in the film was the predictable story. Things were shown well in advance and I knew how things were going to end up well before they happened. This isn't good. The story also had many unbelievable points, and as is true to this genre, the characters were so stupid in their decisions, it was like watching Halloween H2O.

Camera work and such were okay and typical of this film but there were obviously a few exposure problems and they are noticeable.

Direction... meh, I guess the story had a major effect on how crappy things were, and we can't expect perfection from no name actors. Rusty Kaing did the best, despite the situation.

Continuity... This film has some of the biggest continuity errors and revealing mistakes that I've seen in a long time. For example... It is raining a lot, then it is clear, then it is raining... within the space of seconds. Also the sun manages to come up in less than 10 seconds and the rain stops. Then it goes dark again. God... couldn't someone have payed better attention to this? Did they even care? That to me is very sloppy filmmaking, but then again, only a handful of people may notice these things. Most people don't seem to care that it it is pitch black one minute, and daylight the next.

Joyride 2: Dead Already? gets 1.9 stars out of 5. I was generous because of the nudity, but it isn't worth it.

Image
Well there goes Rusty Kaing. I bet he survived that 300 foot + fall and explosion. Lets stand here for an unreasonable amount of time and chant Candy KAING!

Image

Rusty Kaing also features continuity errors galore. In some shots, he's fat, in others, he's skinny. Damnit... why did they make this film!
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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Postby Kaing of Kaings » September 10th, 2010, 7:24 pm

HA....HAHAHA..

Well at least you knew what you were getting into. That sounds like when recently, I rented the B-Movie, Galaxy of Terror which is early James Cameron producing. The only reason I rented it was for a worm rape scene where a giant work has it's way with a naked space woman. Other than that the story was horrible and the plot was ubber stupid. The only actor you will recognize is Freddy Kruger and he becomes the biggest plot hole in the movie. Rent it if you like worms and naked women but other than that, it is terrible, terrible, terrible. I have been in a B-Movie kick lately looking for some bad acting and naked ladies. It's just a phase though....or is it?
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby Kaing of Kaings » September 10th, 2010, 7:26 pm

P.S.

The blond girl kind of looks like Jenni only without the preggers.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby TheStuboy » September 10th, 2010, 7:44 pm

On a lighter note, I also finally finished the film "The Wrestler"

Netflix sent me a baddly scratched copy (2nd in a row) so I missed some parts due to the DVD skipping but I got the gist and got to see Marissa Tomei's boobs. :shock:

That film was much better, and hea in a way.

3.8 stars out of 5.

Note to netflix, QUIT SENDING ME SCRATCHED DISCS.
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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