Angels and Demons - (Bukis and Boys)

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Angels and Demons - (Bukis and Boys)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » May 16th, 2009, 2:44 pm

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time when the rose buds start blossoming. Time when the birds start chirping. Time when girls who shouldn't where shirts where their gut hangs out start walking around. Yea they may think that is attractive, but it's not.

It's also the time when Hollywood does the same exact thing. They put out their bloated sequels and cash cows with their guts hanging out and think it is attractive. It's the summer movie season. A season where movie hopes and dreams get hyped up and crushed by the reality that summer movies (except for Pixar) are usually not that good. So how did Ron Howard's latest adaptation of a Dan Brown book turn out?

(Minor Spoilers)
Angels and Demons (The book) is actually the prequel to The Da Vinci Code. The movie is actually the sequel. It really doesn't matter thought because the story pretty much follows the book until the end where a huge pass gas explosion rips from Tom Hanks ass as he stares into the sky at St. Peters Square. The movie follows Robert Langdon (Hanks) as he tries to help the Catholic Church destroy the Illuminate before a bomb of Anti-Matter goes off somewhere in the Vatican or in his pants.

Hanks has cut his hair and has less turtlehead face than The Da Vinci Code. He is given some things to do but strangely he doesn't even seem to be the main character. He helps solve some riddles and puzzles but his turtlehead face keeps him from scoring with Victoria (Ayelet Zurer from the movies Munich and Vantage Poo). Ron Howard goes through the motions of the book and in the end...oh who am I kidding.

Like The Da Vinci Code, this movie is ok but nothing special. It wasn't as big as a disappointment as Da Vinci, probably because I haven't listened to the book on tape for a couple years. Like most books translated to film, the book is way better. The movie plays like a made for TV dumbed down version of the book with all the real offensive Catholic stuff taken out. Ron Howard must not have wanted to piss off the Vatican too much. I don't think he will with this movie.

Nothing is that controversial in my opinion about this movie. Sure, most religions, including Catholics have done some bad things to scientists or people with rational thought in the past. Some religions are still doing bad things to the world and science. I am one of those people that think that God and Science can get along. I have a more scientific mind so I question religion a lot. I kind of think that religion now days has lost it's way and is becoming too Fundamental (Christians and Muslims alike). But enough about that.

The movie is ok but nothing to write about. It is kind of slow and boring in some parts (I don't know why some people were calling this breakneck pace). Some of the scenes are good and it does make you want to go to Rome and see the Architecture there. I think Hanks is too old for this role and Ron Howard is being too timid about the controversial parts of the book. It is an improvement over The Da Vinci Code but not by that much. Let's hope the third movie adaptation based on the third book coming out this year is better. Lets hope Tom Hanks has no more turtlehead face in the third movie. 3.3 stars out of 5. Let the summer shit movie season start.

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Hanks: "Oh God, I don't know why they serve McDonalds on the set. Shit. Hey Adam Goldberg lookalike, where is the nearest toilet.

Adam Goldberg Lookalike "It's in the basilica of the Pantheon where the statue of the God of Flatch, Passgassgus, is.

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All of the Cardinals in the Vatican were summoned to the Pope's office to find out who dropped the Arkansas Steamer on the Pope's computer Monitor. Robert Langdon had no comment.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby TheStuboy » May 19th, 2009, 2:19 am

I disagree stu.

That's right. After one of the most worthless vacations ever, to Bendover, my woman (whose birthday we were celebrating) and I came back to SLC a day early because we were bored out of our minds, we went to the theaters to see Ahguys and Gayguys. There is honestly nothing to do in Bendover except that, bend over and waste your money. That and hang out in a swimming pool all day.

Enough of that story, onto this story.


Angels and Demons tells the story of a huge mantha beat going on in the Vatican. The pope has died and people are furiously awaiting the arrival of the next one when the poo hits the fan. Luckily Robert Langdon (Hanks) and his Turtlehead face arrive to save the day before a massive toilet in the pope's office erupts, spilling antimatter everywhere.

I have not read the book, but after seeing this film, I want to.

I disagree with stu that it was boring. Granted, it has its slow moments. These are mostly filled of talking, some times too fast to understand. Kenzie read the book, and was filling me in on what was happening.

I liked most of the movie, and would definitely agree it beats the snot out of the Dapinchi Chode.

This is the first movie of the summer season for me. I have no interest in seeing Ball-Trek. I had a good time, and wanted to see more.

Good acting and turtle face from most of the cast. Ewan McGreggor is kind of hea, and he uses fart power to not only walk but fly, and its good to see him without a lightsaber.

Tom Hanks looked young in the beginning, but by the end, he is looking older unfortunately. With the right script, he could do an Oscar worthy job again. This film, eh, I'm not so sure. That's not to say he still isn't one of the best actors in Hollywood, its just this film doesn't showcase what he is capable of, especially facial expressions.

I liked how it all came together in the end, but agree with stu that they probably could have made it more controversial than it was.

3.9 stars out of 5.

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Where's your lightsaber this time Obi-Wan? Schweeeu, did you just rip one or was that your holiness?

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Ron Howard shows Tom Hanks how the aftermath of a turtleface would look should he choose to use it.
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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