Tingle Butt - Eagle Eye

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Tingle Butt - Eagle Eye

Postby TheStuboy » October 2nd, 2008, 3:29 pm

I finally got to see this film on Monday night after missing a free screening a half a week earlier and being forced to see the kaing "Lakestu Terrace"

Eagle Eye stars Shia Lebouf and the weird faced Michelle Monaghan who you might remember from such films as the hotter girl in "The Pheart Break Kid" and some girl in the Stu Supremacy.

Shia was "Stu" in the latest and hopefully last installment of Indiana Stu and the kaingdom of the crystal suck. He was also in Transboners and Disturdia.

Anyway, along with the guy from the Shield and a very persistent Billy Bob Thorton, this is Eagle Kaing.


Eagle Eye begins in some muslim nation where some Taliban morons are being watched by a scary drone plane and then when GWB gives the go, they are taken out. However, they got the wrong guy, and thats a problem.

Now, back in the USA we meet Shia (Jerry) who is your average stu with nothing better to do. His brother who was a police officer and his exact twin mind you, just died and everyone is sad. Even his gay dad (who is the terrorist guy from Die Hard II) doesn't care for his stuness.

Jerry's life changes however when he discovers a huge amount of explosive material somehow materializes in his apartment. Then he gets a call stating he needs to leave now or he will get his shlong cut off. Naturally he disagrees, but gets caught by the FBI. Enter Billy Bob.

Anyway, he manages to escape via the strange person on the other line of the phone, and he bumps into Michelle and says Leeroy, whats wrong with your face.

The two escape and are off on a whirlwind adventure lead by the mysterious lady on the phone line.

I won't spoil it any more.


My thoughts:

From seeing the previews, I thought, oh man, here comes another typical thriller where everything is predictable and everyone acts stu. Boy was I surprised.

Eagle Kang is so good, I don't want to spoil it all and I recommend anyone see it.

If you are a fan of either "Enemy of the State (more on this later)" "Terminator 2" or any other film like this, you'll have a good time.

Unlike Lakeview Terrace, every minute of this film has something to do with itself later. Everything has a point. The script is good, the acting is good, the direction and story are solid. I liked Billy Bob's character as he reminded me of the everyman, instead of the typical stu FBI agent who just wants to beat the prisoner without interrogation.

As far as this film's connections to Enemy of the State, well, if you can't see them, you must be kaing. This is essentially what Enemy of the State would have been like had it come out ten years later. Our technology had progressed enough in that short amount of time to be relevant for this film.

The scary thing is, everything that happens in this film is essentially possible. Parts of it are a little hokey, but come on, its a movie.

Eagle Eye gets a whopping 4 stars out of 5. It isn't perfect, but no film really is. Also, you really shouldn't listen to critics all of the time, most of them are stu republicans anyways.


Okay McCain, running back to Washington but getting caught in New York and pissing off Letterman isn't going to help your chances of being prez.

You know what that guy with the white is thinking, he's thinking "Damn, I'd like to tap dat ass". We're pretty sure he's refering to Shia too.
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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Eagle Eye - (Beagle Pie)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » October 5th, 2008, 8:58 pm

I will keep this review short and sweet since Stu pretty much covers the plot for you. I must say Shia is good in anything he is in, even as Mutt in the Kingdom of the Crystal Suck. Michelle Monaghan who I think is hot and I didn't see the weird face that Stu saw.

This movie is entertaining but there are some parts where it seemed like it dragged. The premise is intriguing and it seems like sometime, not to far in the future, something like this could happen. Bush already took away Habeas Corpus and you know they passed the illegal wiretapping bill in congress and senate (yea Obama voted to pass it which is a shame but at least he made it so the courts can get involved again.) So the next time you get a call on your cell telling you to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall and defecate in the first stall, you better do it.

I do have another problem with this too is that some of the action (especially the shot involving the tunnel and the plane) are way unbelievable). I know it's an action movie and all but I would like to see one where the main guy gets hurt or injured every once in a while (can't wait to see Quantum of Solace).

Anyway, 3.5 stars out of 5. I did enjoy it but i guess I was hoping for something better.


Due to budget cuts and the writer's strike, the last 5 minutes of the film were cut and replaced with this image. In the back ground, the puffer song from Braveheart played.


Shia: "Ok Michelle, Don't pay attention to my hand on your ass and I won't pay attention to how hot you are...oates."
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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