Lakeview Terrace (Scaryview Terrace)

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Lakeview Terrace (Scaryview Terrace)

Postby TheStuboy » September 24th, 2008, 2:25 am

Don't be mislead by my creative title. Please read below.

Lakeview Terrace stars Muthafuckin Snakes on a Muthafuckin plane Samuel Jackson as the scary cop Able, as well as a bunch of unknown actors who play the rest of the cast.

I saw this tonight at Jordan Commons having missed the chance to see a pre-screening for Eagle Eye, since they sold out half an hour after they went on sale. I got one of those ticket things that admitted me to the showing.

We didn't get to see it though, so we went to Lakeview Terrace instead.

Now seeing the previews, I wanted to see this movie, because all of us have had our share of bad neighbors. I know that I sure have had many, from loud assholes in the dorms, to idiots who fuck with the thermostat (his name is Chris) to Cro Magnons in GR and stupid hessians who let their trash blow all over your yard.

Not in this neighborhood in Los Angeles, no, not in Lakeview Terrace. From the beginning of the film, when the poor white guy with the black wife moves into the neighborhood, Samuel Jackson is on his ass like a game of sweaty nut sac.

The film begins with the new couple moving into the neighborhood and they live right beside the scary and controlling LAPD cop Able Tanner (Jackson). Seeing as how Jackson is a hessian republican, and can't stand any democrats who vote for Barack Obama, he gets all pissed off and declares war on his poor neighbor. The battle is on and its a man vs wild, er man vs man and the game of sweaty nut sac begins. Heres the weird thing though... all the while, a huge ass fire is burning ever so close to the neighborhood, yet nobody seems to care.


I'm quite a fan of this genre, which is full of such greats as River Wild and Breakdown, and such movies that fall over themselves as this one did.
Thats not to say it isn't frustrating, it is, its just annoyingly frustrating. Tell you what, I sure as heck wouldn't want to live next to Sam Jackson.

But the film failed several points. The acting wasn't great, and I suppose it was since these guys are no namers and in general, the script wasn't too great.

Its full of plot holes and no-purpose subplots too. The sad thing is, it is also full of plot points that should have been expanded upon but weren't. The movie leaves you hanging several times and you wonder why the heck things are happening. You also wonder what the reason behind the game of Sweaty nut sac is, but you never find out.

Also, a huge fire is burning through your neighborhood, but you'd rather worry about that turtle floating in your pool or the lights shining in your window, or the fact that Samuel Jackson is a beat force, to care.

The movie could use some trimming as it is slow in points. It takes about half an hour to an hour to really get going, and then it slows down and picks up half a dozen times after that.

It was entertaining, but this is certainly not the best frustrating movie I have seen. That title still goes to Breakdown, which got the script/acting/plot right, not wrong as in this case.

2.7 stars out of 5.


I hate when these muthafucking white guys move into my muthafucking neighborhood, and start causing all their muthafucking snakes on a plane sheeit.


"Uh oh, Samuel Jackson fell into our pool and now he's malfunctioning. I think I just saw him start a huge ass fire that has no point in the story. Oh no HEAA!"
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
Danny Glovershh - Shhootersh.
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