(National Treasure - Book of Flatch)

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(National Treasure - Book of Flatch)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » January 1st, 2008, 2:21 pm

Over a well rested and deserved Christmas break at Camp GR and in FLG, we saw a slew of three movies in the theaters. The first of those was the sequel to the dumb but fun movie of National Treasure.

*Spoilers*
The second movie has all the same characters from the first one and a new bad guy, Ed Harris who seems to be stuck in the bad guy role rut. That's ok though because who else would you like to scare your children at night than Ed Harris. The story revolves around a book that all presidents use to keep secrets in and that GWB uses for toilet paper. The team, lead by Cage, with the boobacious Diane Kruger (wow, all I have to say is wow), the not so funny comic relief Justin Bartha, the crusty Jon Voight and the equally boobacious Helen Mirren. Man for being an old lady, Helen Mirren is hot, oates...Wow what a digression, and Wow what a great audience.

Anyway, the story leads our kang heros all across the globe to find clues that a third grader could figure out. All the clues lead to a magical book that is for presidents eyes only that Cage must steal in order to protect his gay name. You see, Nicolas Cage's great grandpa actually was the killer of Abraham Lincoln, not Wilks Booth. Talk about rewriting your history. Anyway, the hero's end up in South Dakota at the Black Hills where you can see Stuboy and I filming Man Vs Wild, South Dakota Black Hills in the back ground. I never knew that right behind Mount Rushmore was Sylvan Lake. It's funny how special effects can totally screw up actual geography. I also never knew that the City of Gold is right under Sylvan Lake!

Anyway, at the end of the story, the good guys save the day and everybody gets laid. And all in all, the movie, like its predecessor, is pretty entertaining. Don't expect to be any smarter afterward but but expect to be a little bigger in the pants, especially after seeing Diane Kruger bend over so many times in the oval office. It's a good thing Bill Clinton wasn't in there. Anyway I give it 3.25 stars out of 4. Not a bad waste 2 hours and 10 bucks of your life.

Image

Cage: - "Ok, nobody fart. Seriously. If anybody does, we will all die and fall into this bottomless pit."

Voight: - "Shit, I knew I shouldn't have eaten at Taco Bell"

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After finding Kruger's boobs as part of the puzzle, Cage focused on Helen Mirren's boobs (off screen right). Maybe, he thought, the key to the City of Gold is between the cleavage...cleavage, that's a clue...it has 8 letters... 8 is the number of times I farted on the set of Ghost Rider... Ghost Rider dealt with ghosts...ghosts are generally scary...if I was scared right now, I would shit my pants...pants..pants have pockets...pocket pool....
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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