Rambo III (Ramblow's Worst Nightmare Ever)

[Kaing of Kaings]

After a viewing of the Netflix Rambo III movie, I thought I woudl complete my the trilogy of Ramblos with a Trilogy of a review. Ever ever there was an explosion, Rambo was there. If ever there was a knockout Vietnamese Chick, Rambo was there, If ever there was a sweaty ass, Rambo was definately there.

This has to be one of Rambo's sweatiest movies. After playing a good game of Sweaty Nutsac with a fellow Thailander in a bar fight scene which Hot Shots, Part Deux Paradies, Rambo heads to his monk monestary to wash his sack and build a tire for a crappy carage. He is soon visited by his comander who visits him in every movies. This time, The Taliban in Afghanistan has tanken GWB's Prince Albert ring hostage and the US wants to get it back at all cost. Rambo says "To hell with you lady." and continues to make shitty products for the monks. He is visited again saying that the comander is now caught after he stupidly parks his humvee infront of a Russian Godzilla Helicoptor which proceeds to capture him. Rambo now aggrees to rescue the Prisoner of Azkaban and teach him the ways of the Gospel.

And so, Rambo travels to Afghanistan where he meets a bunch of Osama's who are fighting against the Russian insurgency. Ramblo then decides to rescure his captain and kill as many Russians as possible. There is one supper dorky scene where Rambo's sweaty ass and the captain are faced with the entire Russian Afghanistan army and Rambo stupidly tries to blow everything up only to get stuck in some tank that kills the Godzilla helicoptor.

This movie is all Action and little story. While entertaining, this is not the best of the Rambo movies. Stalone, this time around, has learned how to act with more lines and gives an oscar worthy performance when he tries to disquise himself as a female stripper in a Pakistani gay-guy club. Other than that, if you like explosions and sweaty muscular guys running around shitting their pants, this one is for you. I give it about 2 and a half stars out of 4 cause this is the Worst Nightmare movie ever. HEa.

[leeroy_t]

El,

I told you the third installment of the Rambo series was just plain absurd. The first and second movies while a bit far fetched themselves are nothing compared to Rambo defeating the entire Russian Army with 1 machine gun. Im just thankful rambo had his exploding bow and arrows again, that makes the movie entirely worth seeing. El for future movies to watch read my last response to the heaviator.

L-roy

[TheStuboy]

Are you listening?
Who are you?
You're Worst Nightmare

Make the radio call, DO IT NOW!
Those were the famous words muttered by some Russian guy in the second rambo. In this one, we are once again against the Russians and their ever scary helicopters, only this time its one hell of a lot of Russians, that can't aim worth a shit and always like running into explosions when they happen. They also like to have meaningless dialogue like, No letters, no, no letters.

Ramblo III returns our hero Rambo to combat once again. This time it starts out almost exactly like Hot Shots part Kang, with Ramblo vs some scary guy in a kang stick fight. Guess who wins? Anyway, with the help of Bob Villa, Ramblo is busy living the peaceful life building some crappily made monistery out of tin foil. That is until his friend, the colonelflatch, gets kidnapped in a pretty stu failed attempt to do something. So Ramblo, with the help of Art Malik and a bunch of Osamas including a kid named enchillada, infiltrates Afganistan and dorky sequences ensue.
This includes Ramblo going ahhh for no reason and running away from countless explosions. He also defeats the entire Russian army with a seemingly endless supply of ammunition. One guy even goes Woo shit before he dies. Like I said, everyone BUT Ramblo is a really really bad shot.

The ending has to be the most far fetched of any movie I have ever seen... come on, Ramblo vs a ton of Russians, and winning. Ramblo, make the phone call, DO IT NOW. Horses vs tanks, no fking way. How hokey was that explosion, geez.

This movie was actually better than the 2nd one, even though every single movie in this series is all explosions and no plot.

It gets 2.5 stars out of 4 for attempting to be a good movie, and...well... just attempting anyway. Also for the explosive arrows, those rock.

Expect no plot and all action in the fourth enstallment of the Ramblo series, due out some time this decade. Ramblo will deffinitely have aged more and will keep saying Jessie that bridge aint gonna holl.