300 - (This is SPARTA)

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300 - (This is SPARTA)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » March 25th, 2007, 2:34 pm

On Wednesday, March 14th, 2007, I was down in Phoenix for a training session in HEC-RAS, a computer program for modeling river channels. Since my training was from Wednesday through Friday, I got to stay in a hotel in a shitty part of Phoenix. Wednesday night I decided to go and see a movie in Scottsdale which has more silicon in womans breast than Silicon valley has in microchips. Anyway, I wanted to see the sweaty men with swords and sandals epic, 300.

300 is based off a Frank Miller graphic comic (remember Sin City) which is based off of a historical event where 300 Spartans and some friends held off millions of Persians at the Gates of Thermopolis, I mean Gates of Thermopylae. In real life, these few Spartans and Greek Contingents did hold off the huge Persian army for 3 days until they were betrayed by one of their own. The Persians wanted to make the Greeks their slaves but Greece would have none of that.
A huge portion of the movie was filmed using blue screen technology however, this doesn't effect the quality or entertaining value of the movie in my opinion. The acting is pretty good for B-Actors and this movie is far better than Alexander and Kingdom of Heaven. You may recognize the King of Gondor "Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers and Return of the KANG" as one of the main characters.

One thing I must say that the Battle scenes, I thought, were awesome. Even when the fight goes in slow mow and speeds up it is kind of neat. Zack Snyder, the director, keeps the story moving and the visual style keeps you focused. There are even scenes of gratuitous nudity that make you go Oates....I know parts of it weren't historically accurate but the film did it's job, it entertained.

That being said, I must give this film 3.5 stars out of 4. I walked away feeling like I got my moneys worth and this movie made me say....Now I'm a Man...A Manny Manny Man, I'm a Man....Now I a MAN.......


Stuicreaus: "Lord Flatchuclus, I present you the terms of the Prince of Milos from Persia. You must surrender you're lands and your women or Kaing Miloniclon will wipe you off the face of the earth."

Kang Leonidas: "Das Is SPATA"

Stuicreaus: "But dis is blasphemy."

Kang Leonidas: "DAS AS SPATA"

Stuicreaus: Shing....aaaaaaahhhhhhhh....Canonballllllll....


The Persians had a new weapon that they used at the "Hot" gates. It was called the Bad Breath Blower. It was used to blow bad breath on the enemy and thereby annihilate any chance of the enemy's smelling the coming horde of flatulent warriors.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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