The Illusionist - (The Ellstusionist)

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The Illusionist - (The Ellstusionist)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » January 1st, 2007, 6:38 pm

On the second to the last night of 2006, my dad, bro and I went to see The Illusionist in the cheapest theater ever. It's the theater over by Red Lobster in SLC and ticket prices are only $1.50 a seat. Thats right, and thats for night time movies. For a matinée, you have to pay a whooping $1.00.

The theater was some what decent minus the stupid people. Once again, the screen says turn off your cell phones, and the movie starts and some stupid woman gets up and answers her phone. I wanted to shove it up her butt but that would have probably ended in disaster. It didn't help that some other stupid lady sitting behind my dad didn't under stand the concept of covering your mouth when you cough. The stupid woman was coughing on the back of my dads head and he said he could feel the mucus. WTF is wrong with stupid people. The world is certainly doomed if these actions are not changed.

Anyway, onto the movie. The movie stars the always good actor, Edward Norton as the great Eisenheim. Eisenheim is an illusionist and does cool tricks to fool people who are stu and gullible to such things. Little does Eisenheim know, the Crown Prince Leopold doesn't like him and is afraid of Eisenhiem taking back his young love Sophie, played by the lovely Jessica Biel....mmmm Jessica Biel...aahh. The Prince of Milos sends Paul Giamatti who is Chief Inspector Uhl to investigate Norton's magic and Jessica's underpants. What he finds is a mystery so complex and convoluted, only the coughing lady didn't understand it. The movie then goes on to show how Eisenheim and Sophie plan to get back together.

The movie was good but wasn't Norton's best (see American History X and Fight Club). Paul Giamatti needs an Oscar damn it! The guy has been snubbed ever since American Splendor and has been screwed out of his just rights. He is probably the stand out performance in this movie and he changes his voice to where it is unrecognizable. Jessica Biel did a good job too looking all hot and sexy. Even the Prince of Milos did a good job. I think I would of liked the movie better had I not had to hear that stupid lady cough all the time.

I give this movie 2.85 stars out of 4. I kind of thought The Prestige was more entertaining while this one was good in its own right.

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As Edward Norton studies Jessica Biel's backside and places his hands on her, men everywhere become suddenly jealous and grab the nearest Mantha to beat.

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Edward Norton has figured out a way to make two Jessica Biels. Now if he can mass produce her so every guy can have one that they can store in the closet and play with every once in a while. It's kind of like Kid Beatforce only a real life Jessica.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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