Casino Royale - (Casino Royale with Cheese)

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Casino Royale - (Casino Royale with Cheese)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » November 26th, 2006, 8:51 pm

What do you call a new James Bond in a casino playing Texas Hold em' with a hot French chick in Montenegro and getting better cards than any of us Stuboys got in Vegas last weekend? You call it a Casino Royale with Cheese.

Casino Royale is the much needed reboot to the Bond series that has been needed since GoldenAnne. Pierce Brosnan's last romps became a little old. Especially when you have Madonna in a Bond film. That's when you know you need to give up or take a new direction. Casino Royale is a new direction.

Starting off with Daniel Craig. You may remember him from Steven Spielberg's Munich or the British movie Layer Cake which I have never seen. He is a talented actor and as far as Bond, he beats Brosnan. He is more cool, reckless and shows some emotion too. He is also smarter and faster than the other Bonds who were constantly pulling the underwear out of their cracks while chasing bad guys.

The new Bond gets the shit kicked out of him too. He bleeds, gets bruises and gets tortured while naked. Most of the other Bonds miraculously were unharmed in intense fights. Not Craig. He takes all the beating and makes the series somewhat more realistic. Another prop to this Bond is its lack of CGI. I remember only a few shots that were CGI unlike Die Another Day where everything was filmed in front of a blue screen. Even Madonna's boobs were enlarged using CGI in that film. I applaud Ian Flemings people for not using as much CGI and making Bond more realistic.

Another thing I like about this Bond is he doesn't waist time when killing the bad guys. He simply shoots and they are dead. You usually see hesitation or a gay flashback but not this time. He is the real deal.

Eva Green, seen fully naked in The Dreamers plays a worthy Bond girl as well. She is nice too look at, smells nice and has some acting talent.

I wont give much of the story away but I will tell you I called most of Bonds hands in Poker before they showed the cards. The poker game at the center of the movie is pretty interesting and if I could play like Bond, I could of cleaned up the table in Wegas two weeks ago. Anyway, I give this Bond 3.25 stars out of 4. The only drawbacks were the slow parts toward the end.


Bond: "Damn it Stuboy! I told you to stop gambling after you spent $40. I told you not to buy in again. You better listen to me or I will beat!"

Stuboy (off screen right): "Hea."


Bond: "Oh Shit...Know I know why M told me not to eat Taco Bell and go swimming in the ocean. Excuse me guy with the camera. Do you know where the nearest toilet is?"

Vesper: "Come on now James. It will be a smashing story if you just stay here and soil yourself."
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby TheStuboy » November 27th, 2006, 12:56 am

Bond is back!! And Blonder than ever. Daniel Craig delivers a ko performance only seen by the likes of Bruce Willis in the first and second Diehards, and ahnold in Terminator 2. This movie will shock you, it will blow you up, it'll even hit you in the sac.

The new James Bond, Casino Royale, is what the rest of the Bonds to come should be like.

This film is definitely grittier, rougher, and more realistic than past Bonds have been. Daniel Craig makes excellent use of this realism as he virtually gets the shit kicked out of him before returning the favor himself.

The stunts are tightly performed, and you can tell, some actual work was put into making this film what it is, its not lackluster like: The World is Stu Enough, or Flatch Another Day.

I would even have to say that the stunt sequences and such were even better than GoldenAnne in someways, except I think the ending of GoldenAnne has this one beat.

The story suffers from only a few slow points, particularly towards the end, when you are waiting for things to happen.

Of course, one must remember, almost every film ever made has a slow point, even the stuff we do.

If you liked Bond from Connery to Moore, you'll like this jumpstart to the failng series that can be blamed on Pierce's gay looks and stiff acting.
Daniel Craig rocks!

3.5 stars out of 4, best Bond since GoldenAnne, and that says quite a lot.

Craig: Okay, are we done with the "my body looks better than yours" shots, my package just turned into marbles.

Wait a minute, didn't Art Malik do the same stunt in True Lies?
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
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Postby leeroy_t » December 9th, 2006, 12:33 pm

Ell, I saw Casino Royale last night. First, I must mention that I am a huge James Bond fan. The newest installment to this series is a vast improvement over recent turtlehead giving performances by Pierce Brosnan. Daniel Craig brings Bond in a whole new direction, no more "eh hew mummsy, my ball sack has been struck by a large rope of some sort." The new Bond takes as much punnishment as he dishes. The bond girls were also worthy of KO status. OH leeroy! I do like the scene where Bond goes to the Bodies exposition at the Tropicana and he kills wusstopher as he tries to pass secret information on to some terrorist who wants to blow up a plane so he can steal some Ugandan dudes $. OVerall, I give the movie 3.5/4 stars. Good to see Bond is back! ya!
Oh Leeroy what a knockout!
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