White Noise (Brown Noise)

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White Noise (Brown Noise)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » January 23rd, 2005, 8:00 pm

Ok, I just saw this movie called White Noise today staring Michael Keaton and the chick from the David Fincher movie, The Game. (Spoiler Alert) The movie starts off with Michael Keaton DXing in his nice house. Michael Keaton is on the east coast and Picks up KUGR from Green River, Wyoming. He immediately creams his pants and contacts Stuboy and Leeroy Turtlehead to let them know he made this remarkable discovery. The find is later added to the UBSTUDIOS dx website where it exist today as the only celebrity originated dx.

Actually, Keatons radios and tvs in his house are shitty. They keep on fucking up and static keeps on interfereing with his tv reception. His wife, who is damn fine, finds out that they are going to have Mel Gibson's child and both are excited. She decides to go out with a friend and have a drink only she never returns and she is found dead weeks later. Suddenly, while Keaton is DXing, trying to pick up KDX from Utah, he hears a scary noise on the radio and shits his pants. (God damnit, they stole my idea from Ghost Frequencies although Ghost Freqencies will be better). Anyway, some fat guy with a huge double chin follows him around and when confronted by Keaton, he reviels that he has been dxing dead people's signals for years and has picked up one from Keatons dead wife.

Keaton is rightfully supicious at first but soon he finds he can't stop dxing for dead people. Now it's a full blown obsession that Keaton talk to his wife only there is a problem. Three evil spirits want to kill people while Keatons wife tries to prevent people from dying. Now its a on and off race to find out why the hell these three spirits are killing people and why the movie audience should even care in the first place.

White Noise is not a bad movie. It is a novel idea, only it could of been alot better. The scares are few and far between, and Michael Keatons DXing skills just don't match that of Leeroy Turtleheads and Stuboys. While I did find my self jumping through some of the scary parts, those parts were few and far between. There are also some plot hole issues that arise and the ending is pretty stu. It ranks right up there, and was actually stollen from Cast Away (Super spolier) where a girl in a wheel chair finds herself at a crossroads in a cemetary. She turns her head all the sudden and then the dorky face of Keaton and his hot wife fade in and out.

Come on, that was a completely gay ending to a movie that had so much more potential. I like Michael Keaton as an actor and think he can do a fine performance, but here, he acts like he has Turtlehead face all the time. I guess some people will be scared of this movie, some guy at the end of the dumb ending tried to scare his girlfriend in the theater by screaming.

Overall I give it 2 out of 4 stars because while it sucked, it could of been suckier. Oh, and I went to grocery shop at Butt Bashes afterword and the radio playing over the intercom started screwing up like the radios in the movie did. hea.
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Postby leeroy_t » January 24th, 2005, 6:39 pm

Hi Noise!!!
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Postby TheStuboy » January 24th, 2005, 6:57 pm

Brown noise sounds like this
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
Danny Glovershh - Shhootersh.
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