Inside Man - (Inside "Now You're A" Man)

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Inside Man - (Inside "Now You're A" Man)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » March 26th, 2006, 7:13 pm

Ell, after my voyage back from the Bay area I decided to see a movie. The bay area is where every public place smells like bum pee, poo and BO, the BART goes fast and scary people get on, and Bums ask for a quarter, you give them a dime, they throw it back at you.

So back in good ol' Flag, I decided to see Inside Man after a hard day's skiing. Inside Man stars Denzen Washington, Jodie Foster, and Clive Owen. As you can tell from the previews, Clive plans to create the perfect robbery. He doesn't like to repeat himself and he never stutters. And so, Clive attempts just that. The next thing we know, a bunch of annoying New Yorker's are held hostage in a bank owned by the crusty Christopher Plummer.


Denzen is a negotiator/cop. What else could he be. Seriously, this guy has played more cops than Danny Glover and Bruce Willis. He shows up, orders a Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks, chews on his Krispy Kreme donut, and food flys out of his mouth when he talks. He takes his time doing his negotiator work because he has no F%^king idea what is going on.

Mean while, Clive Owen has the urge to make all the hostages strip...not a bad idea till the fat lady strips...and put on masks just like he has on. He then proceeds to move them from room to room for reasons we never find out. Before you know it, Jodie Foster shows up on the scene and pooties all over the place. Her character is a mysterious one who is bent on spreading eagle and getting frisked by Clive Owen. Clive obliges and nothing gets accomplished.

Denzen finally decides to find out what is going on but it's too late. Willem Dafoe breaks in and f&*ks everything up. And as you would guess Clive gets away scott free...or does he.

End of Spoilers.

This movie is directed by Spike Lee whom I am not familiar with his work. I thought the acting was par as was the story. The thing that disappointed me most was I was expecting a twist in the movie but it never delivers. When the "Twist" finally does happen it seems like it was lame. There are some factual errors to this movie too that could ruin Clive's ambitions. Oh well, it’s another mediocre movie for a year which is starting to look like 2005 in movie terms. My only hope is "The Da Vinci Code” will resurrect my Hollywood slump. I give this movie 2.25 stars out of 4 for Jodie Foster's pootie moment.


Dennis Hopper stars in the movie of movies...Inside Man. This movie also stars Denzen Washington and Gene Hackman who says "I'm in charge now "SHUT THE F@#K up." This movie is so great, it was released straight to VHS and you can watch the PG version on the Sci Fi channel everyday at 7:00 pm MST
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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