Eight Below - (Eight Inches Below the Waste Line)

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Eight Below - (Eight Inches Below the Waste Line)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » March 6th, 2006, 12:06 am

Ell, I was with my woman over the weekend and we decided to got and see Monument Valley...not the ones that are created during camping but the real thing...monuments created by the gods during the dark ages that were fossilized and turned into stone.

After seeing the monuments, we decided to go to Kayenta, Az where we decided to go to see a movie at the rumored shitty theater. As it turns out the theater wasn't that shitty but the people watching the movie made the experience kind of shitty. Nothing against Rez people but every time I have seen a movie on or close to the rez, it always seems the natives are talking, kicking the back of your chair or calling on a cell phone during a movie. Have some F$%^ing respect for other people when they watch movies. It is a public place and it is nice to watch a movie when it is QUIET and no one is kicking the back of your seat. Now on to the movie.

The movie stars Paul Walker who attempts to act, Bruce Greenwood who hasn't acted in anything good besides playing the President John F. Kennedy in Thirteen Days, and Jason Biggs who you may know as Jim from American Pie. The movie starts off with Paul and Jason in a sweat hut on Antarctica. They try to see how big their shlongs are and then run out into the 31 below weather to see how much they shrink. Jason wins the shlong contest which puts Paul in a furious rage. The dogs come over to lick him where the sun doesn't shine to try and make Paul feel better but it just doesn't work. The movie tail spends into a movie about love and chaos at the South Pole.

Seriously, the movie is based on true events where Bruce Greenwood comes down to Antarctica to look for a meteorite covered in pooh from the planet Mercury. He finds one but stupidly falls onto some thin ice while trying to DX for base camp. Jason Biggs is DXing for KUGR when he picks up the signal. He warns our explorers that a huge ass storm is coming and to get them back. Since Bruce is a dumb ass and nearly drowns and almost dies, Paul and Bruce and everyone else has to get the hell out of there but unfortunately they have to leave the dogs behind. And thus begins the interesting part of the movie.

First things first, the dogs out act the humans 10 to one in this movie. Seriously, each dog can act and can talk. They have conversations with each other and coordinate attacks on pooping seagulls and scary leopard seals. The dogs are left abandoned for a long time and must try to survive at the ass end of the world. The movie is very effective when the dogs have the screen but when the humans do, it gets kind of stu. However, that being said, this is not a bad movie even though Disney made it. It is directed by Frank Marshall who has produced every movie in Hollywood and directed such great films as Alive and Congo (Where U R the Endangered Species)...wait I mean Arachnophobia.

So what do I think of the movie...I think it may just be better than Firewall although it can't beat White Fang and Iron Will. I give it 3.25 stars out of 4 because it would of been a great movie had the little shits behind me not been kicking the back of my seat or the people decide to talk while the film is going...Freaken Morons.


P.S. This movie actually made me want to get a dog...but not a drop kick dog like a Boston Terrier, Pekinese, Boxer, or any toy dog.

Image

After hours traveling through blinding, cold snow and staring at the dogs rear ends...Paul Walker began to except the fact that Brokeback Mountain lost Best Picture to Crash and that the Academy may never nominate him for a best actor unless he gets close with his dogs in the tent....real close.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby TheStuboy » March 6th, 2006, 10:09 am

God stu where did you learn English? Check your spelling and grammar.
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