Stuboy's Revised List of Best (and Worst) Films of 2018

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Stuboy's Revised List of Best (and Worst) Films of 2018

Postby TheStuboy » December 16th, 2019, 1:49 am

I've been doing some reflecting on an average year of cinema, 2018, and decided to finally do my final finale flatulent list of best and wurrrrst movies of 2018 (along with the TV shows I watched and enjoyed or hated). 2018 had its fair share of shitty movies though.

So without further ado, here is the list of movies I enjoyed last year:

1) Ready Player One (Ready Player Own)
2) Incredibles 2 (Incredibly Stu)
3) BlacKkKlansman (Black Kangsman)
4) Mission Impossible: Fallout (Emission Possible: Ballzout)
5) Game Night (Jesse Plemons is a scary guy)
6) Coldplay: A Head Full of Dreams (Coleflatch: An Ass Full of Farts)
7) Bohemian Rhapsody (Boheamian Heasody)
8- Fahrenheit 11/9 (Elections Have Consequences, Up To And Including Impeachment) - I walked out of the theater very upset at the state of our country.
9) Avengers: Infinity War (Afluenzers: Infinity Ballwarz)
9) (tie) Green Book (Viggo Gets Pissed Owf and protects a cool dude)
10) Sicario: Dia Del Solado (Mumbling Benicio Del Toro Gets Scary with Josh Brolin)
11) A Simple Favor (Melanie's Favorite Movie EVURRR!)
11) (tie) Hereditary (A Fucked Up Movie)
12) Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Jagmonji: Welcome to the Suck)
13) Rampage (Ballwarz Gorillas in the Mist)
14) Deadpool 2 (Deadweaker)

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"In the Oatesasis, you can have oates with anyone you want"
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"This movie is seriously messed up, but good"

Honorable Mentions:
Vice (Dick Cheney is a Dick)
A Quiet Place (Stinkin Up The Basement)
Tag (Jag)
Solo (Hands So Low - a Star Bores Story)
Smallfoot (Eh, it was okay)
Spiderman Into The Spiderverse (Spiderballs, Into the Animated-verse)

Worst of 2018 (IMHO) in no particular order, although a few are worse than others.

1) Black Panther (I'm sorry but I didn't care for it)
2) First Man (First Balls on the Moon)
3) Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom (Jurassic Turd: Fallen Franchise)
4) Welcome to Marwen (A seriously boring movie)
5) Oceans 8 (A JPEG is not a movie file. Dumbass)
6) The Spy Who Dumped Me (Kate McKinnon is Drunk and Mila Kunis Wants To GTFO)
7) The Equalizer 2 (Denzen Gets Blown Around in a Town While Playing Paintball)
8- The Happytime Murders (Couldn't even make it through the first five minutes. Seriously, this film sucks balls)
9) The Mule (Clint Eastwood pops a chub)

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"What's that noise... it's all the people in the audience snoring"
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"Denzen has this one expression throughout the entire film"


Documentaries:
1) Fahrenheit 11/9 - See above
1) (tie) Coldplay: A Head Full of Dreams (Coleflatch's beginnings in the early 2000s using cool edit pro)
2) Won't You Be My Neighbor (Hello Neighbor, Would You Like To See My Weewee?) RIP Mr. Rogers
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"Hey, it says my package shipped December 3rd - Pssh, you think the USPS gives a damn. You'll get it half a month later"

Good television watched in 2018 (in no particular order)

1) 9-1-1 - season one - Angela Bassett gets pissed owf about being typecast as a cop, while stu people get into incredibly elaborate emergencies. It's a fun show.
2) The Masked Singer (Robin Thicke and Ken Jeong guess who's costume smells the worst after a performance)
3) 13 Reasons Why - season 2 - (Shit starts hitting the fan, but nobody kills Bryce until the third season (oops))
4) Jesus Christ Superstar Live (NBC) (John Legend gets fart power after Alice Cooper tickles his pubes)
5) Shameless - season 9 (Frank runs out of ideas for his next conquest and Fiona leaves the show)
6) Ozark - season 2 (Things just keep getting worse for Jason Bateman)
7) Better Call Saul - season 4 (Better Call Ball - I need to get caught up on this still. The first half of season 4 was good and the first I've seen air live)
8- Walking Dead - season 9 (Rick Grimes gets tired of being in the zombie apocalypse so he blows up a bridge and farts away with Jadis - while Jesus dies because his character wasn't doing much and he's on a better show now. Negan rots in a jail and wastes his talent as an actor. Luckily season 10 made up for this.)
9) 24 Hours to Hell and Back (Gordon Ramsay goes to shithole restaurants and opens Mantha Torture Centers to attract new customers.)
10) Life Below Zero (Alaskans some how survive subzero temperatures, and one dude walks around naked with hungry bears watching.)
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"The lady on the left only lasted one season because she was too old for one of the characters, and she wasn't interesting. She was replaced by Jennifer Love Hewitt. She also just farted and Angela Bassett and that other dude can smell it."
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"Old man Rick figures without Coral, he can't continue on. The Whisperers are fartin' not too far behind."

Honorable mention for TV:
A Million Little Things - season 1 - (A Million Boring Dramas, except this one has Ron Livingston for like five minutes).
Family Guy - seasons 16 and 17 (By this point, the episodes are getting forgettable).
"I won, you losht, get ushed to it shon"
Danny Glovershh - Shhootersh.
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TheStuboy
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