Mr. and Mrs. Smith - (Mr. and Mrs. Explosive Flatulence)

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Mr. and Mrs. Smith - (Mr. and Mrs. Explosive Flatulence)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » July 20th, 2005, 12:00 am

Ok, what manly man on this message board wants to be Brad Pitt? First of all he's a Sigma Chi like me, so he knows how to throw down and dorky dance at parties like me. Secondly, he happens to be the probably the most genetically superior human being on earth, even after he went to the hospital for meningitis. Third of all, despite all rumors, he got to sleep with Jennifer Aniston and now.. Mrs Pouty Lips herself, Angelina Jolie. So come on, who of you manly men would rather be George Bush or Pat Robertson when you could be Brad Pitt.

That's what I thought, all of you manly men would like to wake up in the morning, make some scrambled eggs and orange juice and serve breakfast in bed to Ms Angelina Jolie. I know I would, I may even share the shower with the most superior genetic woman in the history of man kind. We have gone along way from our cave man days and these two movie stars are at the top of the evolutionary food chain. However, did their movie survive the test of the Buthesda Cobblebottom critic?

Mr. and Mrs. Smith pits these two icons in an iconic battle against each other. Each happens to be a professional assassin that hasn't known about the others killing abilities for 5 or 6 years of marriage. Suddenly the marriage is on the rocks because for some reason, Angelina can't get Brad's little brad up any more. And so, a killing frenzy ensues. Actually, more people get killed in this movie than in War of the Worlds. Seriously, Angelina and Brad are a lethal duo when it comes to killing the most people and glorifying it with their sex appeal at the time.

While there are some cool action sequences in this movie, most of the time, the story left me hollow. It seems to me that there were some holes missing in the movie where there should of been something...I don't know.....plot and care for our heros or villans. For some reason, I didn't connect with the movie.

You can only see so many flatulent explosions and bust shots of Angelina...wait a minute, you can never see enough bust shots of Angelina but flatulent explosions...I see those every day and don't have to go to the theater to see them. The point is, this movie left me feeling as hollow as those guys in the movie with bullet holes in them. I'm not sure if that's what director Doug Liman, who's previous effort of Go was genius, meant for the audience to expect, but I’m getting numb during these action movies. It's all explosion and no chemistry or connection.

As a result, I will have to give this movie 2 and a half stars out of four. It probably would of been better had the asshole in front of me turned off his cell phone but you know, what’s life with out an asshole........A very nice smelling one.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby leeroy_t » September 12th, 2005, 8:44 pm

Ell, I happened to see this movie with my wa and gomps when i was in WI, it was quite stu I must say. How many scenes can u show angelina jolie and brad pitt siting down to eat diner, it seems the director thought he worked for ubstudios or something!! I agree the story had lots of holes, including one in angelinas crotch which was promptly filled with my shlong. I give this movie a 1.67 out 4 for being very flatulent and making my wa lady fall asleep.
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