Cinderella Man - (Cinderfella HEA)

[Kaing of Kaings]

After a long day of driving around looking for new places to live and having the phantom pee'er strike in some shitty apartment, I decided to take in a movie. Since I’ve already seen Stu Wars - Epic Chode III, Revenge of the Shith and Mr and Mrs Smith doesn't really do much for me, I decided to see the latest Ron Howard film, Cinderella Man, Staring Russel Crowe, Renee' Zelwegger, and the great Pig Vomit (Paul Giamatti).

I went to the Temple...I mean movie theater and discovered they had raised their prices to $8 a movie. Thanks to GWB, there is no end to how high the prices will go up. Anyway, I entered in awe of what Hollywood has created, such masterpieces as Supernova, Dumb and Dumberer, and The Limely had posters on the wall and all I could think about was what has the human race accomplished for itself. What has man kind done that will last through out the ages and in the future, those who survive GWB's regime can look back and say, damn that think fucking rocks.

Anyway, I went into the theater and sat in the back row as usual. The lights went out and all of these gay previews for girlly movies started to show. For a minute I thought I was in The Sister Hood of the Traveling Pants because a bunch of fat girls came in and sat next to me and started giggling. The thought of being in a girlly movie was a horrible thought, seeing how I only brought Rosita Palms, and Chaquita Banana along (Cheapest Dates Ever). Anyway, my horror was suppressed as the movie started with a knock out blow to some guys head.

Now about the movie. For those of you who don’t know, Russell Crowe takes his fighting skills from beating up people all around the world (see the Russel Crowe and Tug Boat fighting show on the South Park episode) and actually puts them to use in the ring. With his trusty mentor and sidekick, played by the underrated Paul Giamatti, and his trusting chipmunk faced wife, played by Renee' Zelwegger, Jim Braddock, played by Russel Crowe, goes through his trials and tribulations during the Great Depression. Ron Howard skillfully directs some of the best boxing scenes on film, and I think they were better than Rocky. However, the movie does have it's slow parts and a guy who dies in Central Park, NYC for no reason. He just goes eaaah, and that's it.

Anyway, these fat girls that were sitting next to me would go awww every time a kid would say something in the movie or Renee' Zellewegger would cry. Then, what was really annoying, every time there was a fight scene and one of the fighters would through a punch, they would gasp as though they were being chased by the Bill Crotchety. It was really annoying and every once in a while they would laugh during a serious scene. To top that off, I started getting gas bubbles, although my episode wasn't as bad as Leeroy Turtlehead’s Alexander experience. You should of gone to the bathroom and freed your turtle before the movie started like I did. Even though foreign toilets can be scary, those at the RS Theater weren't that bad.

Anyway, I give this movie about 3 stars out of 4. While it's not the best movie of all time, I haven't seen anything else that beats it this year so far but that’s not to say something better will come along. Superbly acted and directed good. Cinderella Man is fun for all ages. He likes to invite little boys to his ranch and eee heee. OWWWW.. Shamon.

[leeroy_t]

god damn it! I cant turtle in movie theaters, cant u realize that! Im just like my cohort Paul Finch. Ell I saw Hotel Rawanda last weekend staring hessian nights actor Don Cheedle and some other random brothers. Twas a pretty good movie and I flatched several times during it to show my approval. It shows what happens in shitty african countries when GWB neglects them for pursuing his own vendetta and tries to steal IRaqi oil. almost 1 million africans were hacked to death because GW 1 and BC were more concenred with getting stiffys then preventing genocide, just as gwb is doing now with sudan. quite a lot of weird shit happens in hotel rawanda, its best if u have an understanding of the situation that occured there before u watch it otherwise u will think you were watching a bad ubstudios genocide remake. hea hea cinderella man sounds like the kangest name for a movie ever!