The Final Cut - (The Final Butt)

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The Final Cut - (The Final Butt)

Postby Kaing of Kaings » April 8th, 2005, 12:31 am

What do you get when you take a cool concept and make a shitty movie about it, you get the movie The Final Cut. The Final Cut stars Robin Williams (Still making his 24 Hour Haircut movies), Mira Sorvino (Thee Mighty Aphordite), and Jesus (Jim Caveizel).

In the movie, Robins job is a cutter. A cutter basically goes around and chops peoples heads of with shing swords....wait a minute.... A cutter is a Stuboy editor who edits the lives of people for rememories. Thats right, in the future, 1 out of 20 people will have a Zoe Chip that grows in your head as you grow and records all your memories, including mantha beating moments, flatulent moments, and even "Oats" moments. When you die, a Cutter takes these memories and edits them together to make a boring movie about your life so people can remember you as a great person and not the secret mantha beating pervert you really are. Sounds like a cool concept for a movie huh...

Well unfortunately, I can't erase the memory of this movie from my head anytime soon. Yea thats how stinky it was. You take Robin Williams who acts like he forgot to act, Mira Sorvino who is hot but never gets naked, and Jesus who is bent on destroying the Zoe Chip and Cutter business all for some reason we never find out about, or maybe they mentioned it but I just wasn't paying attention to the movie but to the scary loud jet flying over. Anyway's this movie has one of the gayest endings ever. You would think that after staring in The Passion of the Christ, Jesus would take on better projects but nope, this movie SUCKS. You never get the point and the action is minimal at best. It consist of Robin running through a cemetary while he shits his pants and recites the star spangled banner backwards while Jesus is in hot persute and singing Hall and Oat's , Maneater. Actually that ending would be better than the real one.

Overall, I give this movie 1/2 Star because Mira Sorvino is nice to look at. Other than that, I want that Stuboy Editor to cut the memory of this movie out, except for the parts with Mira...wait a minute, just cut the whole damn thing out.
Harry: " Whoa, Jesus, Check out the butt on that one."

Lloyd: "He must work out."

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Postby TheStuboy » July 11th, 2005, 12:20 am

The long awaited FREDDIE FARZ JR. review of The Final Butt starring Robin Williams and Jesus. Kaing pretty much summed up what the movie was about, and he put his take, well here is mine.

With hints of One Our Photo and Passion of the Mantha, this movie flat out SUCKED Sweaty BUTT. Robin Williams learns how to fly thanks to a blue screen, Jesus has a short but scary part, and the whole concept, cool as it maybe, was done horribly wrong. Where were the writers of this film, oh yeah the director wrote it. I don't mean to be rude but Ben Mahmuud directors (M. Night Shlongylon included) can not write good American stories, let alone direct or film them decent enough to make me go hea.

If memory serves me correctly (I guess I could look it up later thanks to my GAI chip) this movie was filmed in StuboyVISON, which means no tripods, no Steadycam®, nothing but shoulder held camera. It pisses me off that hollywood is moving toward tripodless filming because its making me, and probably a few in the audience dizzy and sick. Ridley Scott take note, check out what your bro is doing with a tripod.

Overall, this film was confusing, boring, and generally kang. I give it -1 stars out of +4 since it shouldn't even qualify as a good film. People are so stu if they think this movie is good.

IT SUCKS!
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